Fly Southwest: AMA to Bangor, Maine

Oh, joy of joys! Who wouldn't be thrilled at the prospect of abandoning the sweeping plains of Amarillo for the leafy serenity of Bangor, shepherded through the azure skies by none other than our favorite budget airline, Southwest?

The journey begins when you manage to book those elusive “cheap flights.” An astronomical feat in itself, as with most airlines, finding a good deal is tantamount to finding the Holy Grail. But fear not, relentless traveler! Southwest often comes to our rescue with tempting “flight deals.” You can say goodbye to the tedious quests of yore of trying to secure “last-minute flights”; it's almost like Southwest knows the depths of our frugality.

Those craving the luxury of “first-class” may need to check their aspirations at the departure gate, for Southwest simply doesn't entertain such fancy pretensions. It's more about getting you where you need to go than pampering you while you get there. However, they do offer “business class” on some of their "direct flights", a nifty upgrade option for the seasoned haggler. It's delightful how Southwest allows us to maintain the illusion of social mobility.

One might naively anticipate an unadorned “one-way” flight from Amarillo to Bangor. Ah, sweet innocence. In the wonderful world of U.S. air travel, “non-stop” means a sweet layover in some nondescript terminal, surely a blessing for those harboring an inexplicably fondness for fluorescent lighting and overpriced airport food. But hey, who can pass up the opportunity to add another location–the bustling hotspot of layovers–to our travel narratives?

Ponder the unpredictable excitement as you play “baggage allowance” roulette. Will your massively overstuffed suitcase make the cut or will you be publicly shamed into either ditching your treasured possessions or forking over an outrageous fee? Let's view it as an unpredictable game, shall we? Keeps the travel experience spicy and full of suspense. In the meantime, we’ll all just stand back and thank Southwest for their generous “two-bags-fly-free” policy. What largesse!

For those eager to accumulate enough points for a free coffee, or a week-long vacation in the Maldives, Southwest's “frequent flyer” and “mileage program” offer ample opportunities to hoard. Just don't expect to be zipping off to Paris after a couple of domestic flights. In the thrilling world of points and miles, patience is key. Ah, the sweet wait of anticipated travel!

A quick word on the illustrious "flight cancellation policy" bestowed upon us by Southwest. In the unlikely event that you need to cancel a flight, they put your money in a “travel fund” to be used, in theory, for future flights. How considerately they look out for our future travel needs!

To wrap up this enlightening narrative, one should always check the "flight schedule" religiously, as Southwest has an entertaining habit of changing it on a whim. But then again, isn't change the only constant in life? And in their defense, are they not just preparing us for the unpredictable nature of travel?

So pack your bags, gird your loins, and prepare for the exciting uncertainty of air travel with Southwest. Safe skies!