Fly Southwest: AUS to Rockford, Illinois

Well, well, well. It seems you, dear adventurer, are planning a jaunt from the currently nondescript ‘undefined’ location in Austin to the wildly thrilling Rockford via the airborne chariot known as Southwest Airlines. And just between you and me, I've heard whispers that you're scouting for the choicest tidbits on flights, travel logistics, and in-flight details.

Permit me to paint a picture, colorfully tinctured with the vinous hues of satire, of what to expect when you take the plunge into the airline du jour, Southwest. I'll be your guide, your Virgil if you will, on this descent into the cheery underworld of air travel.

Of course, everything centers on your 'Departure City'. Yet, our evocatively named ‘undefined’ seems to have escaped the cartographer’s ink. But fret not. Southwest Airlines blithely regards this minor lack of geographical definition as a mere trifling detail, with a sly wink and a roguish smile. With that indomitable spirit, Southwest is ever ready to heave into the air from practically anywhere there's solid ground and room to rev an airplane or two.

Luckily, being part of the 'flying proletariat' isn’t a prerequisite to get a taste of airfare. As part of Southwest’s ongoing efforts to ensure a plenary democracy in the skies, the airline has adopted a DIY-style of cabin service under the tongue-in-cheek guise of 'economy class', where lavish meals are replaced by nifty snack packs. No better way to bond with your fellow proletariat comrades than over a shared bag of peanuts, eh?

En route to our final destination – Rockford (a place about which the most fascinating detail is its distinct lack of fascinating details), you might be questioning the flight duration. Patience, dear traveler! No great journey was ever swift. And considering you'll face no layover on your journey, the duration only slightly exceeds the average lifespan of a Mayfly. I'm sure we can agree that’s quite reasonable.

On reaching Rockford, if you're awash with a native curiosity about the geological, cultural, or culinary offerings of the city, perhaps it's best to inure yourself. Rockford’s attractions fall somewhat short of riveting, unless you happen to be a connoisseur of world-class potholes or a devotee of low-key suburban ennui. Nevertheless, that's romance in the modern age, isn't it?

Moving swankily up the scale, if you've managed to ascend the rungs to the 'frequent flyer' status, you’ll be the envy of your co-travelers. Personally, I wonder whether the thrill of racking up mileage points might be an elaborate rebranding of Sisyphean torment, but to each their own!

I weave this tale, mocking yet with a tender affection, as we all have a shared thread in the less glamorous aspects of air travel. Yet despite our collective grumbling, there are no other routes to those sweet, sweet baggage carousels. Whether it's revving across the skies from one undefined field to another or stealthily collecting those precious air miles, we're all partners in this airborne dance.

So, insouciant traveler, here's to your upcoming expedition. May your journey from 'undefined' to Rockford be smooth, your airfare reasonable, and your Sri Lankan Dodo-bird relative seated next to you, an amiable air companion!