Fly Southwest: BLI to Fort Wayne, Indiana

Well, look at you! Planning a trip from Bellingham to Fort Wayne through Southwest with all the flair of Christopher Columbus conquering new lands. Don't worry, darling, you've got this. Let's dive in, shall we?

First of all, have you considered your range of flights options? Oh, don't blush! Of course, you want the prime cut - direct flights, non-stop flights or even cheap flights - who wouldn't? Life's an endless buffet, but sometimes we've got to make-do with the croutons rather than the prime rib.

Let's chat about the best time to book. Ah yes, that magical hour when airfare transforms from something that makes your wallet cry into a near bargain. Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? Sadly, Southwest Airlines holds the magic wand here, not you. Their prices fluctuate faster than a heartbeat. Keep those hawk eyes peeled for deals and one-way specials though. Remember, fortune favors the brave...and the obsessively incessant checker of flight schedules.

Now on to the quintessentially amusing world of baggage allowances. Southwest's policy is funnier than a stand-up comedian in his prime. They're known for the generous “two free checked bags" policy - as if they're not charging you enough for airfare already, they throw in this 'benefit' to sweeten the pot. Cute, isn't it?

Moving on, have you thought about the delightful possibility of layovers, darling? Oh, nothing screams thrill more than sitting in an airport Starbucks chugging lattes at midnight waiting for a connecting flight. It's thundering excitement, don't you think? May I suggest a book, or perhaps a crash course in sleep yoga?

Allow me to touch upon the darling subject of in-flight services. Isn't it dreamy, the idea of a domestic flight complete with half a sandwich, a lukewarm coffee and inch-thick blanket. Don't forget, the 'exceptional' in-flight entertainment, where you can choose between '80s sitcom reruns or the safety instructions video. I dare say, it'll be a struggle deciding. Texas Hold'em or Solitaire, anyone?

Prepare yourself for the Southwest's frequent flyer program - the Rapid Rewards Program. Yes, dear, they really named it that. Not sure where the 'rapid' part fits, though, since you'll be watching those points build up at an eye-wateringly slow pace. But hey, eventually you might have enough for that round-trip flight to...let's see... the Mojave Desert?

And finally, should tragedy strike and you need to cancel your flight, Southwest's flight cancellation policy is here to the rescue, swooping in like a knight in shining armor. Your wallet, though, may not be quite as happy... The idea of 'refund' here is more like fairy dust – looks nice, but disappears when you reach for it.

So there you have it. Now you're ready to embark on your Southwest adventure with all the know-how of a seasoned globe-trotter. Safe travels, oh intrepid explorer!