Fly Southwest: BLI to Tri-Cities, Tennessee

Oh boy, are you in for a treat, my dear nomadic friends! There's nothing like an exhilarating trip on a metal tube, flying way too high in the sky, traveling from the splendidly undefined town of Bellingham to the not-so glamorous Tri-Cities. With Southwest airlines, the experience might just be as memorable as the time you were audited by IRS on your birthday. Let’s talk about their fabulous offer. Yes, you heard it here, Southwest has a delightful selection of 'connecting flights' — because why take a 'direct flight' when you can double your travel time and soak in the ambience of some random airport en route?

"Don't you just love 'layovers’?" Said no one ever. Well, Southwest thought we don’t get enough of airports’ stuffy air and fine dining at overpriced fast-food joints. So, they placed a joyful jaunt in Seattle smack in the middle of your trip. And they are absolutely non apologetic about it! Why? For your convenience, dear traveler! What? Inconvenient, you say? Please, adjust your attitude to flying, Southwest style.

Let's talk about booking. Should you opt for a 'one-way' ticket or a 'round-trip'? Southwest makes this choice easy by making the latter twice as expensive. Clever, Southwest, very clever. This is their subtle way of telling you: "Hey, why not ditch boring old Bellingham for glitzy Tri-Cities? And if you ever change your mind, we’ll be here. For twice the price."

And oh, dear ones, the 'flight duration'. Isn’t that just the icing on the airplane-shaped cake? If Southwest had a slogan for their Tri-Cities flights, it would be “Bellingham to Tri-Cities: More than 5 hours when we're feeling sporty.” Don’t worry, you'll still arrive earlier than if you walked. Probably.

Shall we talk about Southwest’s 'airfare'? Ah, here, they have outdone themselves. Imagine procuring 'cheap flights' at twice the price of a brand new iPhone? You are not just paying for transportation. No, no, clever chum. You are buying a ‘full-fledged experience’. Yeah, you can keep that word in your favourite vocabulary list; just under 'red-eye flight', 'baggage allowance' and 'flight cancellation policy'.

Concerning baggage allowance, here’s the hottest tip: start practicing weightlifting now. Your arm strength is going to determine how many of your precious belongings you can pack. Remember, just because Southwest can carry an entire aircraft full of humans and fuel doesn’t mean they have space for your humble, not-so-light backpack. Seriously, strength training is advisable.

And finally, let's marvel at the Southwest Airlines' 'Economy Class'. Forget business class or premium economy. My friends, Southwest is a strong supporter of equality. Everyone gets the same amount of legroom, which is a polite way to say "almost no legroom". But let's face it, who needs to stretch their legs during a flight, really? Certainly not you.

So, get ready, get set, and strap yourself in. Hold on tight as you embark on this journey into the wilderness of the Southwest experience. May the odds, legroom, in-flight services, and the time taken to find your collected bags on arrival always be in your favour.