Fly Southwest: BUF to El Cajon, California

Brace yourself fellow travelers, because we're diving into the infinitely thrilling and excessively glamorous world of flying on Southwest from, well, somewhere undefined in the magnificent Buffalo to the dazzling treasure chest of landscapes, El Cajon. So fasten your seatbelts, stow your sarcastic quips safely, and prepare for the turbulent extravaganza of sarcasm. No in-flight services required; this flight is certain to entertain in all its, shall we say, charming peculiarities.

First, let's discuss 'Flights.' Yes, dear adventurers, those miraculous contraptions that confidently defy gravity while hurling us across the sky in a metal cylinder powered by flaming dinosaur remains. In reality, it's a fusion of science and daring, but let's stick to the more poetic version, shall we? It's more enthralling that way.

Now, when choosing your flight, you may be tempted to look for a "Non-stop" option. You might think, "Why in the world would I want to make this amusingly draconian process any longer than absolutely necessary?" Well, clearly, you forgot to consider the adventure of partial aerophobia and the thrilling race to the connecting gate that a "connecting flight" provides. Certainly, a memory to cherish!

Ah! Speak of cherishing, and who could pass up the sheer bliss of an airline's baggage allowance? Packing has always been akin to a real-life game of Tetris, but who would've thought that our favorite childhood game was just a training simulation for ensuring you could squeeze a month's worth of essentials into a bag the size of a breadbox? Pure excitement, one might say.

After all the packing shenanigans, let's not overlook the adventure of scouring through websites seeking the Holy Grail, aka 'Cheap flights.' It's an online version of the Hunger Games out there, where everyone is battling for that elusive business class seat or the even more mythical, "Flight deals." Competing for such prices makes victory sweeter than the honey that drips from the gods' table.

And don't forget the absolute joy of experiencing the "Flight duration." That special time when you, an able-bodied, impatient human, are inducted into the monastic contemplation of the meaning of time itself. How many times can you reread the same safety instructions chart? How many strange and somewhat disturbing dreams could you have while uncomfortably adrift in the cloud sea? Such questions provide a philosophical depth you definitely didn't bargain for.

Finally, dear amigos, let us cast a spotlight on the much-coveted "Frequent flyer" scheme. Oh yes, the more you fly and torment your aerophobic self, the more points you win! Isn't it fantastic? Here's to hoping you can hoard enough points to explore the epic in-flight services in first-class or an exciting package to a destination you'd never plan to fly to. My, what a delightful twist of fate!

So, brave explorers, cinch up your belts, and get ready to enjoy a prodigiously whimsical ride before you, as you plan to traverse the skyways from the grand old Buffalo to super-sunny El Cajon on Southwest. Much like the famous Flying Dutchman, it's less about where you're heading and more about the comically absurd journey. Bon, or rather bizarre, voyage!