Fly Southwest: BUR to Spartanburg, South Carolina

Do you know what's more fun than watching 'The Voice' on tv while cramming potato chips into your mouth? It's saying 'Aloha' to the life-size cutouts of flight attendants greeting you at Burbank's Bob Hope Airport terminal and hopping on one of Southwest's fine feathered metal birds. Allow me to seductively serenade you with the song of our people as you prepare to embark on your merry voyage from Burbank to Spartanburg, or as we in the mile-high club affectionately nickname it, "The Spartan Soirée."

Now, let's talk airfare. Southwest Airlines, not be confused as the lone red-eye flight patron standing on the conveyor belt at baggage claim while muttering "cheap flights" over and over again, often gives one such gift of affordable travel. No joke, my dear frequent flyers, these folks understand the art of flight deals better than Picasso understood the art of a descriptor that is overused in this context.

Cue the triumphant fanfare; Southwest offers both one-way and round-trip flights, so you can decide to jet back to Burbank when you've had your fill of Southern hospitality or stay and establish your moonshine business. And the cherry on top? Southwest boasts a foxily convenient schedule dotted with direct flights, minimizing the racing layout that is usually associated with connecting flights.

With Southwest, our well-curated travel cocktail includes a pinch of airport layover and a stiff shot of direct flights. Talk about having your cake and eating it too (in the Southwest airlines nosh legion, that is). Still crying foul over fewer non-stop flights? Spare a thought for the machinery that powers your journey through the clouds. Technology, like a courteous guest, doesn't ignore the knocking of fatigue. Let the plane breathe a bit, yes?

Next, let's waltz into a very exclusive circle: the enchanting world of Southwest's baggage allowance. When it comes to baggage fees, Southwest takes the peasantry practice of charging for bags and tosses it straight out of their metaphorical plane window (don't worry, the window is closed). Slide along the carpet as if it's a royal rug because Southwest allows you to check two bags for free! That's how royalty should feel, after all.

Oh, darling, we haven't even talked about the in-flight services. Improve your selfie game because you are guaranteed to have neat backdrops with Southwest's dazzling array of in-flight service offerings. Picture yourself sitting comfortably, wrapped around the aura of cordiality and Bath and Body Works-esque scents with a delectable craft beer in hand (possibly free!). They truly understand that economy class doesn't mean 'economizing' on customer care!

While flight cancellation policy seems as welcome as ants at a picnic, it's a hard truth that must be served along the easy-going vacation sundae. But lo and behold, Southwest beats the competition even here. Should you cancel even last-minute flights, you're either refunded in cash or given credit for future flights. They care about your wallet as much as you do!

So, to wrap up this festive bonanza of information, do remember that the best time to book is when you're feeling tempted by the allure of the skies. Let the wings of Southwest do the grumbling while you sit back and enjoy the Spartanburgie ride. Safe flying, and chuck your mileage program worries out of the window. Southwest has got you covered!