Fly Southwest: BWI to Indianapolis, Indiana

Oh, joy! Let me guess - you're planning an escape from the glorious unpredictability of Baltimore's weather, and you've picked Indianapolis as your haven. Brave choice, brave soul. And your chariot of choice? Southwest, of course - the people's airline, the epitome of economical aviation. Pardon the sarcasm, but sometimes I do wonder what drives these travel choices.

Now, since you're intent on this venture, let me offer you some pearls of wisdom - however questionable they may be. Your keyword here is 'direct flights.' Yes, those magical airfare entities that allow you to avoid the nightmare of... Wait for it... 'Layovers'. Shudder, did you? I thought so. Southwest offers a plethora of such direct flights from our lovely Baltimore to the bustling, flat expanse of Indianapolis. Must be a fun journey, one that you'll no doubt recount to your grandchildren with visible quivers of excitement.

Moving on, let's talk about the 'flight duration.' Usually, it’s a neat and tidy voyage, just a little over an hour. An hour filled with unparalleled thrill - staring at clouds, speculating about turbulence, enjoying the unique cuisine - oh wait, there’s no in-flight meal service in Economy class for such a short trip. Oops!

Now, if you're looking for 'cheap flights', buddy, you've hit the jackpot. Southwest, bless their hearts, keeps their fares so reasonable even a spendthrift could afford a 'round-trip'. This, combined with the 'flight deals' they periodically offer, ensures that your wallet will remain comfortably heavy. Though, do remember that cheap doesn't always equate to convenient - a life lesson you might learn if you dare book a 'red-eye flight’ just because it’s cheaper.

If you're a 'frequent flyer' with Southwest, then by all means, don a crown because you, my friend, are airline royalty. Their mileage program will make you feel like a king, or at the very least, a very appreciated customer. The delights of 'Economy class’ enhance when you have earned enough points to get a free flight or two. Or just enough to get a beverage in-flight without having to pay for it. Ah, the luxurious life you lead!

But hold up, do you know about their 'baggage allowance?' Two checked bags, free of charge (pending they adhere to the size and weight limits, obviously). You can stuff those bags with all sorts of sentimental nonsense - old yearbooks, street signs, art you bought because you felt sorry for the street artist. Southwest generously allows you to bring all those useless items at no extra cost. Beautiful, isn’t it?

A word of caution regarding Southwest's 'flight cancellation policy': it's as capricious as the weather in Baltimore. Changes and cancellations are all free and dandy until 60 minutes before the departure. After that - well, let's just say you’re better not treading there.

Now that you’re equipped with sarcasm-dipped arsenal, go forth valiantly. Battlefield Baltimore awaits your departure, and Indianapolis anticipates your arrival with bated breath. Southwest, the champion of low-cost aviation, is ready to whisk you away on this unforgettable journey of an hour… or a little more. What are you waiting for? Get aboard this roller coaster of a 'flight schedule.’ One thing's for sure: it’s going to be an uneventful, memorable ride!