Fly Southwest: BWI to Oakland, California

Get your aviator sunglasses on, pack your adventurous spirit, and hoist the metaphorical sail as we soar through the delightful chronicle of jetsetting from the undefined vistas of Baltimore to the bayside brilliance of Oakland, aboard none other than the disarmingly charming Southwest Airlines. Alas, lavish flights might very well become the victim of my glib mockery, but fear not, for Southwest's economy class is cheekily pleasant in a way that makes it clear why a cashmere bathrobe and a silver spoon to feed you grapes might be considered overkill.

You’ve probably heard the travel guru sort (yes, those self-professed wizards of airfare who wield mileage programs like wizards utilize dumbfounded owls and puny wands) claim that the 'best time to book' is ten minutes past midnight on a Tuesday, precisely 65 days before your flight. But guess what? Southwest doesn't subscribe to such abstruse wisdom. Every day is the best day to book when it's Southwest! More importantly, every day's a hoot, especially when you're flying from the charm city to the golden state. So, toss those murky pseudo-scientific formulae out the window if you thought securing cheap flights could be akin to cracking nuclear secrets!

Prepare to blow raspberries at the oh-so-enticing non-stop flights. Take a break from the boring routine of simply being whisked from A to B without a hint of whimsy. Layover? Yes, please! It’s a carnival of the skies that keeps you guessing, diverting, and crossing state lines in a manner that would make any geography nerd giggle with delight. The charm of Southwest is that their connecting flights make the journey as much fun as the destination itself. A pit stop in Boise, Idaho? Oh, why not!

Southwest Airlines is the cheeky cherub who woke up during a stodgy board meeting about names and decided, "Let's play a game of Two Truths and a Lie." They dared to named their in-flight services “Transfarency”, making plain old business class look like the butt of a joke. Looks like someone took flying ‘First-class’ pretty literally - to the top of the humor class, that is! Suddenly, complimentary soft drinks and legroom sound like a billionaire’s retreat. But watch out, because if you thought your morning pick-me-up was just coffee – you're in for an entertaining surprise!

Though round-trip itineraries are the norm and resemble a bald eagle's predictable migratory pattern, Southwest revels in throwing curveballs. Thanks to their one-way ticketing policy, you have the freedom to go as you please, being as spontaneous as a jack-in-the-box. Duck out of Baltimore, sample Alaskan salmon, click a selfie with a Floridian flamingo, all before you hit Oakland. Who needs a round-trip, when you could have a round-the-country-trip?!

To those dreading their baggage allowance woes, leave the fun-size suitcase at home. Southwest generously permits TWO checked bags, in a gesture that makes Santa Claus look stingy. They've got you covered, literally, all the way to Oakland, from your trusty boot-cut jeans to the rather flamboyant Hawaiian shirt. And fret not, there’s still room for the grand sombrero you bought at the airline’s version of the supermarket sweep – the last-minute flights sale.

At the end of the day, I’d like to believe that Southwest is less an airline and more a rollercoaster at 30,000 feet - with pretzels. Whether you are a seasoned flyer, a clueless holidaymaker, or a bored frequent flyer who counts airports instead of sheep, one thing is for sure - you’re in for a riot of a ride with Southwest Airlines.