Fly Southwest: BZN to Austin, Texas

Astrologically speaking, it seems that Southwest is the Aquarius of airlines. Which is to say: quirky, unpredictable, and seemingly guided by its own celestial course. In today's tale, we're outlining a particular flight path: the one from Bozeman in Montana, a town populated by hot spring enthusiasts and footloose Big Sky attendees, all the way to Austin - the hipster haven of Texas.

What better way to traverse this distance than choosing one of our beloved direct flights? Trains might be too sluggish, long drives are a detoxification hazard, and hot air balloons, despite their novel appeal, aren't exactly sanctioned by the Department of Transport! So voila: direct flights. It's like taking an Uber in the sky: point A to point B, with no room for outlandish detours.

Comfort - or the lack of it - is often a controversial issue when it comes to economy class. But darling, this is Southwest. They've turned the economy class into the Walmart of in-flight experiences: it might not have the sparkle of caviar and champagne, but it's got everything you need, cost-effective, and yes, they are delightfully efficient. Take that, business and first-class

Isn't it amusing how we've evolved from cherishing our horse-drawn carriages, to obsessing over our classic convertibles to now figuring out the best time to book our flight tickets? Ah, the aerodynamically-challenged pursuit of discount airfare. Ideally, you'd want to book at least six weeks out to snag the best deals. Delay it, and you might find yourself selling your grandma's antiques to afford a flight to your cousin's wedding in Austin. We kid, of course. Well, sort of...

Now, one must tread lightly when speaking of baggage allowance. It's no secret that airlines have their own unique way of playing Tetris with their overhead compartments. Southwest, however, has elected to abandon such cruel mind games by granting you two free checked bags! It's practically unheard of in the realm of domestic flights! So go ahead, pack that extra set of cowboy boots and straw hats for your Texan adventure.

They say everything's bigger in Texas and the same goes for their airport layovers. But fear not, should you find yourself on one such layover in Austin, you'll be just fine. Austin Airport is like a miniaturist replica of the city: food truck culture, live music and a healthy sprinkling of cowboy hats everywhere.

We're approaching the end of our satirical flight journey here, dear reader. At the end of the day - or in this case, the end of the flight - Southwest is like that irreverent, fun-loving relative who enjoys a good laugh, knows how to make life enjoyable for everyone around them, and most importantly, gets you where you need to go. A flight from the seemingly undefined expanses of Bozeman to the brimming metropolis of Austin, isn't just another entry in a flight schedule. It is a journey. And Southwest, with its quirks and jokes, makes sure to keep that journey entertaining. Buckle up, sit back, relax and get ready to fly Southwest, where everyday low fares are found and flying pigs reign all flight long.