Fly Southwest: CLE to Bellingham, Washington

Oh, joy, you plan on flying from the one and only – or should I say, undefined – city of Cleveland to the absolutely riveting destination of Bellingham, Washington. Lucky you. What better way to traverse the vast skies than aboard the culinary cornucopia that is Southwest Airlines, right? Here's a brief, but colorful, overview of what you can expect.

Southwest Airlines, noble provider of the staple, ever-sought-after "cheap flights". They make the seemingly Herculean task of switching from Cleveland's unpredictable weather to Bellingham's achingly consistent gray skies possible - and affordable! It's nothing short of a miracle, really.

Of course, let's not forget about Southwest's "flight schedule", so flexible, you won't know whether you're coming or going! Oh, the thrill of the inevitable roulette of 'Will my flight take off or be delayed?' With each passing minute, the suspense just keeps building.

Now, you might have to catch one of those ever-delightful, soul-nourishing "connecting flights". You know, the ones where you get the bonus opportunity – out of the goodness of their hearts, mind you – to explore some random airport in a city that you had no intention of visiting. One might say it’s a mini-vacation on your way to vacation, except without any of the fun parts.

The "flights" Southwest offers are, of course, the epitome of comfort. What with their "economy class" seats perfected to cradle your backside as if you were sitting on a pile of diamonds. On the bright side, if you emerge with a perfect indent of the seat on your derriere, you'll have a lasting, maybe even lifelong, souvenir. Such a deal!

Ah, yes. They also provide you with a generous "baggage allowance" that seems designed to test your origami skills. You’d need to be a world-class Jenga player to fit a week’s worth of clothes into the accepted dimensions of a carry-on bag. However, if you can't, no worries! For a mere fee, they'll happily take that extra bag off your hands. How very charitable of them.

And let's not forget about Southwest's "flight cancellation policy". It’s so considerate they even charge you a pretty penny to rebook your flight when something like life happens. Isn’t it great when a corporation understands the unpredictable nature of human existence?

In the end, if you still fancy undertaking this great airborne journey from the undefined Cleveland to the overlooked Bellingham aboard Southwest, do remember to relish in the tiny packet of peanuts and half a can of soda they serve – truly gourmet stuff.

Without a doubt, every thought you ever had about "airfare" and aviation will be turned on its head as you embark on this extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime adventure. My earnest advice to you, dear traveler, is to buckle up. It's going to be a ride to remember in the ever-gracious, ever-economical arms of Southwest Airlines.