Fly Southwest: CLE to Plattsburgh, New York

Well, lucky you! You've made the exceptionally unique decision to embark on a journey from Cleveland to Plattsburgh. And even more thrilling – you've chosen to fly Southwest; truly an airline known for its capricious distribution of snack packs and inspiring in-flight safety demonstrations. Please, allow me to paint a masterpiece of your adventure in full technicolor detail.

Firstly, brace yourself for the journey's spellbinding duration because, with direct flights being as rare as meaningful airline food, your journey will likely include a delightful layover. I would advise you to consider it as a mini-holiday within a holiday. Relish in the unadulterated joy of airport lounges, brimming with the intoxicating cocktail of fast food aromas and heightened anxiety. Really, who trades this breathtaking experience for boring non-stop flights, right?

Lamentably, those dreaming of a majestic flying experience complete with silk robes and golden cutlery would find Southwest's business class a bit disappointing. Brace yourself, because your delicate sensibilities may indeed be horrified by the lack of in-flight lobster bisque and personal butlers, common to other, glitzier airlines' business class offerings. Bring yourself down a notch and feel at one with the regular folks in either economy class or, for those a smidge more bourgeoisie, the premium economy.

If like some, you are a self-proclaimed baggage over-packer, I encourage you to familiarize yourself with Southwest's baggage allowance. With one of the most generous offerings amongst This "Budget Airline" echelons, the excitement of this "free" bonus packed in your airfare is almost tangible. Because, truly, who doesn't enjoy juggling with large, unwieldy suitcases when in vacation mode?

On your journey, don’t forget to take advantage of Southwest's frequent flyer program. If you are anything like me, you would genuinely thrill in the accumulation of miles, anxiously watching that sweet number grow until you can eventually exchange it for a complimentary pretzel snack. What an absolute power move!

After all, nothing says living the high-life quite like accumulating points on a discount airline's frequent flyer program. You may want to set reminders to book at the best time to maximize your mileage. In my experienced opinion, nothing enhances the holiday vibe more than sitting up till 2 am hitting 'refresh' in a desperate attempt to save three dollars.

Last but not least, get familiar with the in-flight services. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of binge-watching five seasons of a mediocre sitcom on a fuzzy 7-inch screen or relishing the resounding quality of those complimentary Southwest issued earphones. Don't forget the in-flight magazine, which will provide such an abundance of airline reviews and ads, they'll effortlessly replace any means of entertainment you originally packed.

Finally, prepare yourself for the crowning glory of all this excitement – the grand arrival in Plattsburgh. Be sure to have your sunglasses at the ready, because the flashing bulbs and red carpet welcome might just overwhelm you. After all, Plattsburgh is notorious for its jaw-dropping welcomes.

So buckle up, thrill-seeker. Southwest's Cleveland to Plattsburgh flight experience promises to be an exhilarating rollercoaster ride of average airline food, barely there legroom, and complimentary amusement (but only if you remember to bring your earphones). Who can resist?