Fly Southwest: CLE to South Bend, Indiana

Unassuming traveler by heart, be prepared for a whimsical adventure as you prepare to ride the mystifying metal bird commonly known as Southwest Airlines. Issued forth from the oh so trendy origin of 'undefined' in Cleveland to the not-at-all-dramatic South Bend, this promises to be a journey teetering precariously on the brink of the mundane and the exotic. Grab your favorite edible, recline your cozy armchair, and prepare to be thoroughly amused.

Let's talk about direct flights. They're desired by everyone and they're hard to come by, much like love and free internet. As a result, Southwest, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), sometimes decides to spoil us and throws in a few connecting flights, making sure we enjoy every square inch of their aircraft longer than we asked for. It's like voluntelling someone to enjoy a longer suspense novel when all they asked for was a short mystery novella.

But let's not forget about the wildly unpredictable beast known as 'flight schedule'. Southwest regards these schedules with a seriousness that rivals my attitude towards winning a Monopoly game. Do remember to tuck into your bag a few good jokes, a pinch of patience and perhaps, a bottle of your local brew to ease into the journey. It’s always 6 o'clock somewhere on this globe.

While lounging in the economy class cabin, you’ll be treated to the finest in-flight services conceived by aviation visionaries. They usually consist of enticing delights like bite-sized peanuts and lukewarm soda, all packaged within the irony of a 5-star rated customer satisfaction experience. But mind you! Southwest Airlines believes in humility and is a staunch follower of a 'No frills. No problem' approach. It's like being invited to a house party only to find out it's a cleaning party. Not what you signed up for, but hey you get a free drink.

An acknowledgment must be granted to those gallant warriors who dare to take the last-minute flights. A hearty salute to the brave souls, calculating fellow passengers' intent gaze on their luggage wondering if the final baggage allowance will crush the magic 50-pound barrier or not. Like the final toss in a hotly contested round of beer pong, the result can lead to thumping cheers or crushing silence as you now have to willingly part ways with your money.

Finally, one foot into the abyss of the journey and you realize the need to register with the enchanting Mileage Program. The tantalizing prospect of winning more travel with each sojourn tempts even the most stingy of travelers. It’s like dunking a cookie into your favorite cuppa - the longer it goes, the sweeter it gets. But beware, it's a race. A race of patience, valiantly fought with fellow voyagers to gather as many points as possible before they vanish, poof!

Brace thyself, traveler! This satisfyingly absurd South Bend journey, aboard the ironic ark of Southwest, is exhilarating. And while Sun Tzu remarks, 'Plan for what is difficult while it is easy', we simpleton voyagers know that your best-laid plans for flights may go awry. Yet, you pack your bags and agreeing to be part of this satirical script of life. After all, isn’t this a remarkable trait of being human - embarking on a journey, bemused and entertained, in search of destinations known and unknown.