Fly Southwest: CMH to Appleton, Wisconsin

There I was, with my worn out luggage, standing in the middle of Undefined, Columbus, readying myself for yet another hilarious adventure. My travel itinerary? A flight on Southwest to the untamed expanses of Appleton. Ah, Appleton! The mere mention of it stirs my wanderlust, tickles my funny bone, and causes a peculiar craving for cheese in me. So, travelers, buckle up and lend me your ears for a dash of humor, a sprinkling of reflective introspection, and a grand remix of aviation jargon as I recount my epic Southwest saga.

You see, in these modern times, airfare ain’t what it used to be—like that penny candy from your childhood that's now priced like a gold nugget. But rest easy my fellow travelers, for the gods of cheap flights were smiling upon me that day. I found a Southwest flight deal that would make Scrooge McDuck dive into his piles of gold coins in celebration!

As a discriminating frequent flyer, I'm quite the air travel connoisseur—like a sommelier, but for airlines, not wines. You've heard of direct flights, connecting flights, even round-trip flights, right? Ho-hum. But have you ever stumbled upon a one-way ticket to adventure—also known as a non-stop flight to Appleton? I assure you, it's as thrilling as accidentally using hot sauce instead of ketchup on your fries!

The flight schedule got laid out in front of me like a red carpet at an awards show. I opted for a red-eye flight, because who needs sleep when you're embarking on such an escapade? Plus, rumor has it, Sasquatch often moonlights as a Southwest steward during the witching hours. Now, isn't that delightful?

Now, onto some Econ 101- Airline Edition. You see, putting one's eggs in different baskets—i.e., basic economy class and premium economy, is wise. It's like a buffet line; you get what you please. Baggage allowance is another story. It reminds me of Noah's Ark – you've got to fit pairs of everything in there. And how you manage that without tickling the wrath of the overweight baggage gods is what differentiates a novice from a uhm.."bag-packing black belt".

Next up on the thrill ride is the in-flight services. Oh, where do I even begin! Picture this: your chair is stuck in an upright position, the cabin lights are flickering like a seasoned disco ball, and the in-flight snacks taste suspiciously like foam peanuts. Isn't it marvelous? It's akin to being on one of those theme park rides, except, well, you're several thousand feet above solid ground!

No narrative is complete without a climactic twist, right? So here it comes—the flight cancellation policy. Tread lightly in these waters, and always keep an eye on the fine print. It's slyer than a fox on roller skates. Approach it like you're diffusing a bomb in an action movie, which always tends to be a nerve-wracking yet comic spectacle.

So, fellow wanderers, from this humble travel storyteller to you, a word of caution. Flying Southwest from Undefined, Columbus to dear old Appleton isn’t just another grip on the merry-go-round of domestic flights. It's more like being on a roller coaster, blindfolded, running on mystery fuel. But lean into the loop-the-loops, embrace the mayhem of the mile-high Southwest safari and remember—it’s the quirky, funny hiccups that make the journey, and life, truly memorable. Brace yourselves, Appleton, here we come.