Fly Southwest: COS to Newark, New Jersey

Oh, the sheer joy of planning a flight from undefined in Colorado Springs to Newark. There's truly nothing quite like it, is there? Airfare costs scanning becomes your full-time job, deciphering direct flights from connecting ones becomes a new hobby, and let’s not even get started on the thrill of figuring out baggage allowance. Buckle up, because this is going to be an exhilarating ride through an average traveler's flight journey powered by Southwest Airlines.

Now, let's play a quick game of "spot the sarcasm". It's all fun and games until you actually have to sift through countless websites in search of flight deals. Because, you know, who wouldn't want to spend their precious time doing that? Thankfully, you get to choose Southwest Airlines, everyone's favourite airline for its "premium" in-flight services.

Don’t start packing your bags just yet, you first need to identify if the direct flights to Newark are playing hide and seek or conveniently ready to be tracked. With all the time in your hands, because obviously, you have nothing else to do, why not add some variety? Try exploring the connecting flights! But hey, remember, these are just for those who have a thing for layovers! And if you’re not one of those strange beings, then be sure to identify the non-stop flights. Or, you know, go ahead and book a multi-stop flight. Maybe you'll like Newark so much you'll just stay there! Now wouldn't that solve all your flight booking problems forever?

Oh, wait! Did someone say baggage allowance? Nothing tests your decision-making skills better than choosing between your favourite jeans and that dress shirt you've only worn once. You just have to hope and pray that Southwest's baggage allowance policies have a soft corner for hoarders.

And let's not forget about the “wonderful” world of frequent flyer programs. Southwest's frequent flyer program is full of "amazing" benefits that they'll tell you about every 5 minutes. Mileage program? Now that's a term that every traveler totally understand the first time around. And if you’re lucky, you might understand it by the time of your next vacation. Maybe.

The first-class and business class services on Southwest are obviously the crème de la crème of air travel. Pay extra for wider seats, slightly better food, and the chance to disembark the plane 3.5 minutes earlier than everyone else. The epitome of luxury, right?

Last-minute flights can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Enjoy the exhilarating rush of panic when you realize you forgot to book your flight, followed by the sweet relief when Southwest still has some exorbitantly priced seats available! Throw in Southwest's flight cancellation policy, and you've got yourself a classic suspense thriller experience! Who knew booking flights could be so much fun?

Let’s not forget about Southwest’s in-flight services. They've left no stone unturned to ensure you're just as comfortable in the skies as you are on the ground. Don't worry, the comfort we’re talking about is not your typical feeling of relaxation, but more of a less-uncomfortable state. Airline reviews do try their best to dress this up.

To end this enchanting tale, remember, they say the best time to book is on a Tuesday around midnight, because evidently, everyone loves to book flights in their sleep. At least, if you have nightmares about your flight booking experience, you won’t be able to tell if it was just a dream or reality!