Fly Southwest: COS to Providence, Rhode Island

Well, strap in your seatbelt people because it’s high time you knew the heartwarming tale of when I took a whopping gamble, a real roll of the dice – yes, I boarded a plane from undefined in Colorado Springs to Providence. And the cherry on top? Oh, it was on Southwest. Yes, folks. You heard correctly. You see, I had a flare for "flight deals" and I thought ‘Why not try a “non-stop” ride on this big bird?’ Brace yourself for a narrative with as many twists and turns as people hoarding snacks on a long-haul flight.

Now, I fancy myself a “frequent flyer”, attention please, sarcasm implied, for ritualistically gallivanting on Southwest alone twice - yes, twice in my lifetime. To my bemused surprise, however, this company actually has a surprising cogency in their “flight schedule”. I mean, who knew? But wait, the journey is just picking up speed.

Now let's talk about Southwest's "economy class", and folks, it's practically a theme park ride packed with surprises. Picture this — you're wedged between a braying toddler and an excessively chatty grandmother who insists on discussing her plant collection. A true adventure, I tell you! Let's not even embark on the saga of the "baggage allowance". Apparently, there is such a thing as too many socks for a week-long trip. Who knew?

I had a slight hunch I wouldn’t be offered a glass of bubbly as soon as I settled in my seat. No, not this close to the cockpit. But my innocent hopes of the bare amenities shattered when the “in-flight services” limited to a pack of pretzels and an ounce of water. Now there is a generous dash of Southwest benevolence for you - at no additional cost!

Did you think they forgot about the "flight cancellation policy"? Ah, you novice. Southwest's flight cancellation policy is as easy to navigate as the Labyrinth of Crete. If you delve deep into the famed Southwest fine print, you'll understand they've prepared for every scenario, from a Martian invasion to the San Andrea fault finally giving way.

Why not add the tantalizing possibility of a "red-eye flight" to the mix? Yes, because what's more exciting than arriving at your destination with a monstrous case of jetlag and a pair of raccoon eyes as your new fashion statement? I guess it's Southwest's way of gifting you an unforgettable, insomniac experience.

Sure, you might say it’s all about perspective, maybe the toddler's incessant wailing is a modern interpretive version of Mozart, and perhaps the water and pretzels they toss you can resemble a royal feast if you squint hard enough. And who doesn't enjoy a delightful game of ‘is-this-stain-or-a-pattern?’ on their airplane seats. Ah, such charm, such charisma!

Yet despite my pessimistic doodling, I must admit Southwest does have a couple of redeeming qualities. For instance, they are no doubt punctual—a virtue lost on many other “international flights” I've dared to take. Then there's the cheerful crew—smiling ear to ear despite the 50th repetition of the safety demonstration that day. You've got to give them credit for resilience.

The bumpy saga finally concluded as we landed in Providence. How’s that for a gripping tale about the most adventurous, adrenaline-pumping, edge-of-your-seat experience I've had with Southwest? Yes, sign me up for the mileage program because this journey was nothing but a thrill ride!

So, wanderlust filled friends, when you do book your next vacation with utter disregard for the element of surprise, just remember, Southwest Airlines is always prepared to take you on a rollercoaster of a journey - literally and metaphorically!