Fly Southwest: CZM to Jacksonville, Florida

So you my dear nomad, are planning for a magnificent journey on the Southwest from an undefined location in the magical oasis of Cozumel to the grand city of Jacksonville? Well, aren't you a brave soul! Fear not, we've got everything you need to know for this epic crusade. Strap in tightly as we take you through a tongue-in-cheek guide to choosing flights, dealing with layovers, and taking in the hilarious excesses of the airline industry.

Let's start with the truth. There are two types of flights in this world. One, those that are claimed to be direct, and two those that actually are! So unless you're a fan of the "oh-I-just-LOVE-layovers" variety, double check your 'direct flights' before you head out. Who in their right sense would want to spend their precious time flirting with the airport food court while waiting for the next flight?

Now, let's address the 'one-way' vs 'round-trip’ conundrum. Unless you're planning to permanently reside in Jacksonville (which we wouldn't put past you, that place is mesmerizing), you might want to look at round-trip options. Remember, round trips are not just about getting back - they're a more convenient way of telling the world "Yes, I do have an alarming capacity to plan ahead!"

Hold the phone, let's not ignore non-stop flights. If your bladder has admirable endurance, non-stop flights are for you. If not, you'd better be on first-name terms with the flight attendant, because you’ll be engaging in a complex negotiation for aisle access. And remember, few things in life are as richly satisfying as misjudging your drink intake on a long-haul non-stop flight!

Now, aren’t we all drawn to words like cheap? Of course, we are. Cheap flights are just like your mischievous cousin from childhood - enticing, but always coming with a catch. Sure, you'll save money, but remember - ‘tread softly for you tread on my dreams’. Get ready for the center-back seat, minimal leg-room, and an in-flight meal that closely resembles packing material. Bon Appétit!

Anyone, for some reason, fancy a 'redeye flight'? You must be a vampire! But fear not—redeye flights are a favorite among sleep ninjas and those who love watching at least four movies in a row. Plus side? You witness the remarkable sight of the sun rising above the fluffy clouds. Downside? You might resemble an extra from the Walking Dead after it!

Ah, baggage allowance, how we love thee! All you have to do is squeeze that 3-month wardrobe into a suitcase that could comfortably fit a medium-sized rabbit. Easy, right? Better start researching those 'how to fold clothes the Marie Kondo way' videos!

As you sort through the chaos, worry not - remember that every journey is not just a delightful exercise in time and space, but also a rich tapestry of ludicrous airline rules, dramatic in-flight narratives, gate changes, unexpected layovers, and perplexing legroom charts. Buckle up, buddy. Your trip from Cozumel to Jacksonville is going to be nothing short of a blockbuster movie!