Fly Southwest: DEN to Spokane, Washington

In the grand scheme of airline protocols, Southwest by all conventions possesses the distinctive capacity to evoke feelings of mild hysteria in the world-weary traveler. Whether you're looking to adopt the nomadic lifestyle of a frequent flyer or simply take a red-eye flight to visit dear Aunt Harriet for her 90th moon landing party, Southwest from Denver to Spokane has you covered with direct flights that say 'Yes! You too can be a pioneer of the skies.'

Arguably, the most essential piece to the grand puzzle of domestic flights is the artful ability of nabbing outrageously cheap flights. It's a true form of contemporary warriorship, a badge of honor that tells the world, 'I didn't just circumvent bankruptcy to fly halfway across the country.' Southwest unfailingly provides a carnival of flight deals that are, frankly, mesmerizing in their frugality.

Like a knight in shining armor, announcing your presence at the round-table of air travel, you book what looks to be the most glorious of all first-class tickets from Denver to Spokane. Ah, to luxuriate in plush seats, be fussed over by suave air stewardesses, and drink from the fountain of in-flight services - the dream is tangible and you are the dream-weaver.

Just consider the distinctly delightful absurdity of embarking on a non-stop journey through the sky, defying gravity while nursing a mildly overpriced gin and tonic. The triumph of human achievement; surely, the birds outside are in an absolute frenzy of envy. How quaint it must be to be an unsuspecting sparrow, flipping its wings in a futile attempt to attain in-flight peanut privileges.

But wait, what is this? Your flight from Denver to Spokane isn’t direct after all! Oh, but were you turning red with envy thinking of the one-way flying disciples? It's a sinful delight! Let it be known that there is an indisputable charm in bobbing from one airport to another, a layover as it’s called. A layover, my friends, is not just about idly pacing through overpriced souvenir shops. No, the layover is an opportunity to contemplate life's profound mysteries, like why is airport food so oddly lustrous under neon lights?

Naturally, one needs just the right amount of baggage to proceed on this epic voyage; too little and you risk offending the gods of style, too much and you might obstruct the aircraft’s ascent. Southwest’s baggage allowance policy shows hitherto unheard levels of compassion, actually encouraging you to bring along monumental cases that make a universally relatable statement - 'I need five outfits changes for my two-hour layover.'

In conclusion, while embarking on Southwest's Denver-to-Spokane flight might initially induce waves of uncontrollable excitement, it behooves us to remember the delightful absurdity of it all. The inoculation against the flight madness, dear globetrotter, is a solid dose of humor, satirical observation, and the self-assurance that you will reach your destination with equal parts awe and bewilderment. Safe travels!