Fly Southwest: ELP to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Oh, are you drooling over the thought of embarking on a delightful teleportation from the sandy, sunburnt terrains of El Paso onto the mesmerizing shores of Myrtle Beach? Well, you know what they say – teleportation is so early 22nd century. So why not luxuriate in the archaic charmers of the 21st century - the unmissable Southwest Airlines? Yes, celebrate life by cramming yourself into a seat designed to torture all but the most petite, while juggling that $10 sandwich that's got less meat than a vegetarian's lunch. I hear the "in-flight services" are to die for - how could you possibly resist?

Surfing through countless websites for 'cheap flights', 'airfare' or 'flight deals,' for your El Paso-Myrtle Beach trip really demonstrates a level of dedication that the Greek Gods, stagnant in their crumbled temples, would envy. Isn’t it amazing how you're always rewarded with ridiculously high rates and “flight duration” of a lifetime? But wait, there's a silver lining to this perpetual state of wretchedness – we have the grand option of ‘Layover’ or ‘Connecting flights’, a godsend for those who take perverse pleasure in the humiliation that only additional hours in airports can provide.

Southwest will offer you an exquisite collection of layover options. One option is a 23-hour layover in Kansas City, a metropolis with more jazz than streetlights. Or you can opt for a quick six-hour jaunt in the tranquil haven of Chicago's O'Hare, where the term chaos is laughingly underwhelming. Did I mention that each of these delightful “connecting flights” comes with the privilege of watching your baggage allowance is reduced to one pair of underwear and a toothbrush? Sensibly, Southwest might just be grooming you for the thrills of minimalistic living.

If you relish the idea of time-warping, the ‘Red-eye flight’ is your friend. That's the flight where, to meet your Myrtle Beach dreams, you become a creature of the night, defying circadian rhythms, and suddenly realizing the stark resemblance you share with the Zombies on the Walking Dead. No wonder they sell these tickets cheaper – sardonicism at its finest.

Wait, did we perchance discuss the stunning Southwest ‘flight cancellation policy'? A golden goose for the sharp-minded traveler. The witty craft that your hard-earned bucks, masked beneath the impressive term 'travel funds', can't be spent unless you book another trip within 12 months. Here's a toast to the unwavering commitment of Southwest, to trap their beloved customers in a never-ending loop of travel.

But give them some credit, they have the ‘Frequent flyer’ program, where you get free air miles for each dollar you spend on Southwest – allowing you to fly with them again for less, because flying with them once isn’t quite enough punishment.

So, don't just mull it over, tempo-up your excitement. Pack right, travel light, or in the Southwest’s lingo – ‘Economy class’, and open your arms wide to juxtaposed journeys of idyllic beaches and aviation vexation. Embark on a trek with Southwest Airlines from El Paso to Myrtle Beach, and get to experience it all – the laughter, tears, and the inevitable question: "Why, oh why, did I choose to fly?"