Fly Southwest: IAH to Ft Walton Beach, Florida

Oh, so you're planning to take advantage of that modern marvel known as air travel and whisk yourself away on Southwest from Houston to the exotic locale of Ft. Walton Beach? Well, aren't you the globetrotter? And let me guess, you're probably hunting for the cheapest flight deals quicker than a seagull swooping down on a half-eaten hotdog on the beach. Don't worry, I've got you covered.

First off, we need to talk about your options. You can make your merry way to your sunny Florida destination via a round-trip or one-way ticket. But let's be serious, unless you're moving to Florida to befriend the gators or become a part of the burgeoning bingo scene, you're likely going to need that round-trip. Regrettably, non-stop flights seem to be as elusive as a Texan snowstorm for this route. But hey, why not take some exciting layovers in places like... Nashville or Atlanta?

After all, those layovers could be a tourist destination all on their own. Imagine the awe-inspiring sights you could glimpse from those airport windows: endless concrete runways, hordes of weary travellers sprawled on uncomfortable seating, the joyful melee of lost baggage... Who wouldn't want to get a piece of that action?

And of course, let's talk about the best time to book because timing is everything. Hop on one of these flights too early, and you risk being strangled by those greedy high-season prices. Strike too late, and there go your dreams of cheap flights down the drain, just like the tears you’ll shed when your credit card statement comes in. The sweet spot? A highly scientific window about two months before your flight. No guarantees, of course, but rumour has it, this method proven by countless blogs and self-proclaimed travel gurus might serve you well!

However, under no circumstances should you entertain the foolhardy hopes of securing a last-minute flight deal. While it may seem thrilling (and by some, even considered a sport) to play chicken with the airline's flight schedule, it's as effective as attempting to dig to China with a teaspoon. You'd have more luck trying to teach a Texan bull to salsa.

Moving onto the in-flight services, oh what a veritable bundle of joy they are! Not only you get to 'enjoy' the deflated flavor of re-heated meals, but you also have the pleasure of sharing armrests with a complete stranger. How very... intimate. And let’s not forget their impressive backlog of in-flight movies that date back to the era when shoulder pads and mullets were considered high fashion. But remember, all this can be yours for the low, low price of your comfort, dignity, and sanity—such a deal!

As for baggage allowance policies, they're as generous as a Scrooge on Christmas Eve. If you can manage to cram your life essentials into a suitcase smaller than a box of donuts, kudos to you. For those of us with luggage that constitutes more than a toothbrush and a pair of underpants, prepare to cough up half a fortune. Remember, every pound counts. So delete those unnecessary songs from your iPod, take out that second pair of socks, and hey, who needs a hairbrush when you're on vacation, right?

So there you have it—the ultimate guide to your journey from Houston to Ft. Walton Beach. Remember, they don't call it air travel for nothing—it’s an opportunity to float majestically through the sky in a giant metal tube propelled by sheer force and a dash of divine intervention. Safe travels!