Fly Southwest: IAH to Portland, Oregon

Oh, dear traveler. Your journey from Houston to Portland on a Southwest flight will be an unparalleled odyssey, a saga that puts Odysseus's piddling float about the Mediterranean to shame. So tighten your seatbelt, and please note where your closest exit may be. You're in for a testament in airfare.

Pray tell, are you a round-trip journeyer or a one-way adventurer? Therein lies the sweet seduction of travelling, does it not? You could be a modern-day Icarus, eternally chasing the sun on an endless array of direct flights. Or are you more Laelaps, the mythical Greek dog forever chasing the elusive connecting flights? Ah, the poetry of it all.

"But what's this," you ask with a quiver of trepidation evident in your voice. "I've just realized I am a mere mortal and don’t have the strength of Greek heroes to endure lengthy layovers." Well, fear not. We at Southwest offer non-stop flights that allow you to transcend borders and time zones without breaking a sweat. Remember, in the grand game of aviation, we are not mere players. We are the gods.

Yet not even Zeus himself could ignore the siren song of flight deals. The best time to book? Why, my friend, but every moment is an opportunity! When Prometheus gifted mankind with fire, do you suppose he expected us to wait for the "best" time to cook dinner? No! He wanted us to always be prepared, awaiting the chance to seize our destiny. Similarly, why wait for next month's sale when today's deals on cheap flights are so succulently seductive?

Oh, but we're not done! "What of comfort?" you muse. "I've been spoilt by earthbound luxuries, I fear." Well, listen here. Economy class has got a makeover, a rebirth if you will, that we modestly deem worthy of Apollo himself! But if you deem yourself worthy of a higher place in the Pantheon, we present to you our business class, for those who, like Athena, value wisdom and carefully chosen comfort.

And let us not forget baggage allowance. Are you a Spartan traveler, counting every sandal and tunic? Or do you, like Midas, prefer to carry your weight in gold? Fear not! Here at Southwest, whether you pack light, or bring along all your worldly possessions, we have it all sorted. "But my golden goose," you whimper. Ah, bring along your precious poultry; just be warned if it starts laying golden eggs in the overhead locker.

Take heed! Even seasoned frequent flyer Icarus had his wings melted. Here at Southwest, our mileage program is designed to bring you closer to the sun without the high-stakes hazards of melting feathers and wax.

A journey is nothing without its surprises. And so, my dear friends, I leave you to savor the suspense. Can the Odyssey of your Southwest flight exceed the expectations of this grandiose preview? The response, as the Gods of old would say, lies in the stars. Or more specifically, in the 737 cruising over them.

To sum it up, dear reader, your flight from Houston to Portland will be nothing short of an epic. Step onto our aircraft as a mere mortal, and step off, transformed by the divine comforts of Southwest, into a God.