Fly Southwest: KOA to Chattanooga, Tennessee

Ah, to book a flight. The great modern day drama, unsuspecting travelers lured by the siren song of 'affordable airfare', mouse at the ready, eyes full of hope, only to be encumbered by a revised total cost revealing a shockingly disproportionate amount assigned to 'taxes and fees.' It's enough to make one long for the days of travel by horse and carriage... well, almost.

To save our fellow cyber-navigators from such egregious deceit, we dive deep into the crevices of the daunting digital labyrinth, taking on the formidable 'Southwest Airlines' as they ferry passengers across the grand American stratosphere from the paradise of Kailua-Kona to the mountainous utopia of Chattanooga.

Southwest, standard bearer of the 'no frills' concept in the aviation world, slays competitors with their tantalising attraction of “bags fly free”. A peculiar perk, as one imagines that a generous baggage allowance is a basic right not a luxury. But, alas, we live in trying times.

However, let it be known that for the harrowed last-minute flights bookers, this amenity serves as a splendid diversion from their chronic procrastination ailment (read: indecisiveness). The possibility of adding 20 extra pairs of shoes can turn even the coldest hearts warm towards Southwest.

Now, onto the flight schedule. How does one negotiate successfully between time, convenience and cost, you ask? Wisdom suggests that the best time to book is around two months prior to the journey. But this is just folklore. Certainty in flight booking is as transient as Dwayne Johnson's hairstyling options.

Never fear though, we bring along an alternative narrative. Attempting to evade the hustle and bustle, one can rely on the red-eye flight. It’s an experience akin to being a nocturnal creature - no incessant toddlers in sight, no chatty neighbours and no queues at the in-flight toilets. Yet again, Southwest attempts to revolutionize passenger flying reminiscent of a societal golden age. Or attempting at least.

An important advisory to the uninitiated; let us debunk the myth around connecting flights, those notorious layovers that have a reputation grimmer than a 'Game of Thrones' character’s life expectancy. Honestly, taking a non-stop, direct flight has been unnecessarily romanticized. Have we not learnt anything from Netflix? Without pause and introspection, any experience results in binge-induced fatigue. You don't want your Chattanooga adventure to start feeling like the 9th episode, do you?

Okay, let’s talk comfort now. One may be under the impression that economy class is a Spartan exercise directed to drive humility into one's scenic vacation. But that'd be unfair. In fact, the amenities provided are not that grim. From Southwest’s in-flight services such as on-demand movies to their religion-neutral, all-belief-encompassing, gourmet styled ‘Pretzels’- it’s a truth universally accepted that anyone could be a fan.

For those frequent flyers in denial about their carbon footprint or mileage program fetishists, the Southwest Rapid Rewards points ensure that you can assuage your guilt of ‘spend-equals-sin’ by virtue of your next much needed 'therapy-by-travel's graduation trip with friends.

And thus ends our revelatory exposition for gallivanters heading from Kailua-Kona to Chattanooga via Southwest. Remember good folks, the journey is as important as the destination - at least that's what we'll keep telling ourselves while hearing yet another rendition of 'instructional safety guidelines' from our overzealous flight attendant. Safe flying!