Fly Southwest: LAX to Norfolk, Virginia

You've typed those incantations into your search engine: "Flights from the fabled, sun-soaked haven of stardom also known as Los Angeles to Norfolk, that shining beacon of the East Coast and home to coffee shops next to 200-year-old houses? Cheap, please." And your loyal companion Google, ever-efficient and uncannily telepathic, replied: "Southwest! They're your guys!"

So, you're on the Southwest bandwagon. Or, more accurately, you're about to be crammed into a Southwest plane like a sardine into a tin, while the airline does its best to convince you that you're actually a VIP (more V, less IP). You're hoping to avoid the infamous layover in St. Louis, arguably the black hole of American airspace, a location so dark and foreboding it almost makes the DMV seem like Disneyland. Alas, it looks like a direct flight is as elusive as Bigfoot. But you're a smart traveler, you're sticking with domestic flights, asserting a clear "No, thank you" to the wallet-torture of international flights.

Step One: Navigating the Airfare Jungle. This part of the journey is akin to searching for the Holy Grail. You're no Indiana Jones, but you don the disguise, whispering to yourself "Best time to book, best time to book." You've heard the folklore, the myths passed down from seasoned business-class travelers and cunning frequent flyers who've mastered the mileage program like a grandmother masters her best apple pie recipe.

Step Two: Surviving in-flight services. This requires heroic fortitude. One way to achieve such strength is by investing in an economy class ticket, therein you'll learn the gourmet delight of a ration of pretzels that could delight any seasoned mountain goat. The alternative, Southwest's First-Class: a paradise that treads the line between The Ritz and a Broadway show - premium economy! The question is, do you have the wallet capacity to be marveled by half an extra inch of legroom and a marginally wider beverage selection?

Fear not, fellow traveler, for Southwest's squint-worthy small print also reveals some gems. Their baggage allowance is as generous as a billionaire lottery winner. A suitcase and a personal item? Why, it's practically an invitation to bring your kitchen sink along for the ride. After all nothing screams 'tourism' like a sink accessory.

Now, hold the horses before making that last-minute flights dash. Watch out for Southwest's flight cancellation policy, it's sneakier than a ninja in a game of hide-and-seek. Their crafted phrase of 'No Show' policy is as tender as a Bigfoot's bumpy slap – it means 'Say goodbye to your money, honey'.

So, you're almost there. Southwest welcomes you with open wings as you prepare to be catapulted from the land of dreams and sunshine to Norfolk's historic heartland. Get ready for some in-flight acrobatics as you land, for Southwest's pilots are known for their ability to drop a plane out of the sky like an Olympic diver, minimal splash upon landing.

So, strap in and fasten those seatbelts, for the connecting flights await and boy, they're as thrilling as a roller coaster ride – but without the safety bar. Enjoy, fellow traveler, for you're embarking on a journey of adventure and humor, starring Southwest – the joker of the airspace.