Fly Southwest: MCI to McAllen, Texas

Listen here, brave Midwest traveler who has the audacity to abandon the heartland for a jaunt to the tropical borderland paradise they call McAllen, Texas. This isn’t your grandpappy's wagon trail expedition. It's 2021, we use airplanes now. What cowboy hat-donning, BBQ-loving, tornado-chasing daredevil wouldn’t love to trade the Golden Plains for palm trees and piña coladas? So, allow me to share my bountiful wisdom on your upcoming journey with Southwest from the wish- it-was-the-Wild-West place dubbed Kansas City.

Southwest’s Flight schedule, as capricious as a springtime Kansas storm, is filled with an array of tantalizing options. It tempts you with the promise of "direct flights" that are as elusive as the whereabouts of Dorothy's ruby slippers. But don’t be fooled, dear reader - the never-ending game of "will there be a layover?" is more unpredictable than a Jayhawks versus Wildcats basketball game. Tiny whispers of non-stop flights dash away quickly, like your dreams of a dry summer in KC.

Then comes the dilemma of choosing between one-way or round-trip tickets. Ah, the sweet torment of decision-making. A one-way ticket seems so freeing, reminiscent of the wide expanse of the open Kansas prairie. But round-trip, now, that's where the real deal lies. It’s as comforting as your mom's homemade cornbread. You have that sense of security, a guaranteed return ticket to your beloved fields of wheat and terrifyingly large tornadoes.

Your ticket usually comes attached with some unpronounceable term called a ‘Baggage allowance’. Now, that's quite the game, trying to figure out whether they’d let you carry your oversized cowboy hat or if that counts as a separate passenger. The rules bounce around more than a calf at a rodeo. Best stick to packing only essentials, like your dashingly checked flannel shirts and emergency BBQ sauce.

Another point to ponder is whether you should take the plunge into Southwest’s Frequent flyer program. Entrancing as the Calliope at the State Fair, it promises benefits that sound as delicious as Bourbon Street’s Chinese Pork Tacos. Minus the heartburn. The Mileage program sings a siren's call, offering you bonuses for nothing more than sitting on your posterior during a flight. A tantalizing prospect, although not as tempting as Kansas’s State Fair cinnamon rolls.

Deciphering Southwest’s Flight cancellation policy is like navigating through a corn maze on Halloween's night. Spooky indeed. Our advice? Don’t cancel, won’t cancel. You’d be giving up your chance at a winter without blasting heaters, heated car seats, and whatever other forms of artificial sweat-induction you -50 degree winter forces upon you.

Critics and users alike flood the internet with Airline reviews that volley back and forth like a crowd out for Black Friday shopping. Some criticize, some acclaim, some delight in the in-flight pretzels (ah, the simple joys of life). But the savvy Kansas traveler knows to filter through the raucous cacophony of the digital prairie, and see the prospects of an unforgettable journey.

Well now, savvy Kansas traveler, you're ready for your Southwest trip to McAllen. Hold tight to your corn-fed roots, stay true to your Midwestern moxy, and remember, any airline that doesn’t serve a KC strip steak in-flight isn’t home. Soak in that Texas sun, and remember, there’s no place like home, no matter how good the Tex-Mex gets.