Fly Southwest: MCI to Oakland, California

Ah, the grand voyage aboard the unsinkable ship known as Southwest, voyaging from the mystical and often unspoken of land of "undefined" in Kansas City to the bustling city of Oakland, California. Prepare yourself for a journey of unparalleled luxury... or the closest approximation within the confines of an aluminum tube, barreling through the sky.

If you're a wise traveler who always dreams of magic margins on airfare, Southwest is your Aladdin's carpet. But be warned: navigating the labyrinth of flight deals, akin to deciphering Alan Turing’s cryptic scribbles, will require a modicum of sharpness and the ability to distinguish a good deal from a trip down bankruptcy alley.

The first rule of Flight Club is - always choose non-stop. Unless you've developed a peculiar liking for layovers, complete with the aromatic infusion of Eau de Old Coffee mixed with Ambiance du Unfinished Sandwiches, you'll want to secure a non-stop flight. Direct flights are the jet-fueled chariots you need, taking you from Kansas to Oakland faster than you can say, "Is 'undefined' even a real place?".

With Southwest, you can expect premium economy that feels so luxurious, you'll question if you somehow managed to sneak into first-class. Though if their definition of 'premium economy' is the same as their understanding of Kansas geography, proceed with caution. Meanwhile, economy class is not to be sneezed at either - unless you have in-seat allergies. In that case, sneeze away!

When it comes to baggage allowance, Southwest is a modern-day Robin Hood, rebelling against the flight industry's Sheriff of Nottingham. Amidst the usual chorus of “No, you cannot bring your favorite rocking chair onboard,” Southwest sings, “Sure, why not pack an extra bag or two?” Unlike the struggling grinch-like airlines that make you pay for the air you breathe, Southwest allows two free checked bags. Pack wisely, but pack plenty.

While in-flight, Southwest provides an array of services designed to make your journey a delight. This isn't the dollar-menu level of experience on other airlines, but an Oscar-worthy performance complete with high-speed Wi-Fi, movies, and live TV. Oh, and did we mention complimentary snacks and drinks?

Though it's hard to predict the comings and goings of 'undefined' Kansas City, the best time to book flights would be, presumably, when Southwest realizes such a place might not exist. But fear not! Being considerate guardians of the sky, Southwest’s flight schedule tends to consider the more recognized landmarks in Kansas City, instead of mythical locations.

In the unlikely event that you have to abandon your quest to the Oakland city of dreams, Southwest’s flight cancellation policy treats you less like a villain mistakenly cast in the wrong movie and more like a guest who decided to leave a party early. Cancellations can be processed easily, and your funds will reverberate back to your account with sonic boom speed, with very few strings attached.

So, as you prepare to fly from the cloud-shrouded enigma that is 'undefined' Kansas City to Oakland's sunny shores, remember: with Southwest, the treasure lies in the journey, not just the destination. And this piece of writing would never exaggerate; such would be uncouth!