Fly Southwest: MEM to Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Greetings, oh intrepid explorer! If you were thinking of making your grand escape from the illustrious arias emanating from Beale Street in Memphis to the delightful maritime charms of Portsmouth, hop on one of Southwest's epic airborne chariots, regally titled 'flights'. Don't snort! You're about to explore the sublimely average world of air travel.

Now, if you thrifty trailblazers are searching for a byword for budget-conscious conviviality, then look no further than Southwest’s 'cheap flights'. In the grand theater of aviation, these flights play the role of the underdog – winning the hearts of the audience with their everyman charm. Satirically speaking, cheap doesn’t always mean comfortable, but it’s not every day you get to squirm in your seat to test the flexibility of your vertebrae.

While there's no such thing as 'direct flights', mainly because that would deprive you of the delightful experience of a ‘layover’. Yes, those few hours where you change from a passenger into a gloomy wanderer - it's all part of the experience. Seeking succor at the bottom of a travel-sized, over-priced bottle of airport whiskey or maybe stretching your vocal cords with some heated conversations? It’s the ultimate drill to ensure your lats aren't turning into linguine!

One of life's great paradoxes lies within 'round-trip' tickets. Two journeys woven into one tapestry of adventure and patience, where ‘departure’ and ‘return’ play the yin and yang. Yet, isn't it just reassuring to chart your journey forwards and backwards? Sending you back to where you started like a humbling, existential reminder that all roads lead home!

Booking a 'one-way' ticket on the other hand, is the abstract art of air travel. Oh, the joy of abandoning the rigid round-trip pattern for the freedom to decide your return at your own fancy! It flaunts that rebellious streak, challenging the societal norms that beg you to have a plan. In the flamboyant carnival of aviation, one-way proves to be the freewheeling maverick.

Though air travel seems complacent, the elusive song of the 'red-eye flight' plays on the curious heartstrings of the intrepid night owl. In literature and life, the hastening day blends into the tranquility of the night, creating a cacophony of schedules that bears an uncanny resemblance to your teenage sleeping patterns. But isn’t that just the choice of the nocturnal jetsetter?

While you're doing your air-bound odyssey, don't forget to spare a thought for the unsung hero, the 'baggage allowance'. It's the benevolent gatekeeper ensuring that there's a preset limit to the amount of “essentials” you can hoard. A little serenade to minimalism, if you will?

So pack your bags, fellow travelers, and embrace the gloriously mundane affair that is flying. Remember, every flight is a new narrative thread, and Southwest's winged chariots write them like none other. All aboard for a study in tolerance, patience, and just how much fun it can be to fly when you're not really in a hurry!