Fly Southwest: MIA to Canton, Ohio

Oh, what a joy it must be to sit back on your deluxe, plush velvet chair and consider jetting off from tantalizing undefined in Miami all the way to the sprawling metropolis that is Canton. Could there possibly be anything more exhilarating? Certainly, climbing Mount Everest would be a close second, but then again, they don’t offer Southwest complimentary pretzels on the summit, do they?

Alright, sarcasm aside, let’s get cracking on making this voyage as painless as humanly possible. Now, one operative phrase you might come across while searching for the best flight options is, 'direct flights'. It’s like a magical incantation, isn’t it? You say the words and, poof, you're suddenly not caught in a never-ending layover in Nowheresville. But let’s not forget the tantalizing drama and enthralling spectacle that is a layover—New Jersey at midnight, anyone?

In all seriousness, direct flights are quite ideal for cutting down the unnecessary time one has to spend in transit. As all eager travelers must inevitably learn, fewer layovers also means fewer opportunities for your luggage to make an impromptu trip to an entirely different location like, oh say, Anchorage.

Speaking of luggage, you must be itching to figure out what Southwest means by the term 'baggage allowance'. Heaven knows we've all got enough emotional luggage to last a lifetime. Sadly, an airline's baggage allowance, in this case, refers to how many suitcases you're allowed to manifest physically onboard their aluminum tubes with wings, not your metaphorical baggage from that disastrous break-up in college. But really, who's keeping track?

Moving on to the exciting world of airfare, another fascinating term you might encounter is 'round-trip'. Now, don’t mistake it for something as mundane as a 'one-way' trip. A round-trip is (brace yourselves) the unbelievable concept of going to a place and then—hold onto your hat—coming back! What sorcery is this? But be assured, round-trip, much like a boomerang or a homing pigeon, promises the return, provided you don't find Canton so irresistibly charming you decide to stay forever. As things stand, it does seem the economically truer choice when compared to a one-way trip to the same destination

While we're skimming the surface of all this riveting jet-setting jargon, encountering the phrase 'flight duration' is inevitable. However, let’s not confuse it with some profoundly philosophical concept about the temporality of existence. No, flight duration is much more banal—it merely refers to the time elapsed from one taxying airplane in Miami to another in Canton. It's a bit like watching paint dry, if every speck of wet paint was a mile you had to travel.

In the end, no matter if you're flying Southwest or any other airline, always remember that the journey is just as important as the destination—a sentiment that seems quite touching until you find yourself in the knotty midst of a flight delay. But a delay would give you ample time to read more sarcastic travel blogs, wouldn’t it? And who wouldn’t want that? After all, entertainment is in the journey, not necessarily in reaching the end point, right?

So, happy flying- and carry plenty of patience, a dash of humor, a sack of sarcasm, and rest assured that in the grand theatre of life, there’s place for both the Mount Everests and the Cantons.