Fly Southwest: MKE to Bismarck, North Dakota

Dearest wanderer, prepare to embark on a vehicle of human triumph, winging across the atmosphere on a giant metal bird. Let's talk about the wondrous world of flying Southwest from Milwaukee to Bismarck— a journey quite unlike any other.

Privileged are we to live in an era where we can purchase cheap flights, escaping not only our geographical boundaries but avoid exhausting terrestrial travel. But hark, a word of caution. Before lunging to snatch those tickets that seem as sweet deals as marshmallows bobbing in hot cocoa, I implore you to relish in the warmth of this article, tenderly laced with satire and wisdom.

First, confront the artistry that is flight duration. Who doesn’t adore spending hours enclosed in an airborne tube inhaling shared air and indulging in a thrilling contest of elbow wars for the armrest! Thrill as you are hoisted above the weather, pouted on by clouds and chastised by turbulence. All the more so if you're one of the fortunate souls to grab last-minute flights!

Now, direct flights are generally hailed as a blessing. Ah, the joy of being ferried non-stop from the beer-brewing heartland of Milwaukee to the freezing charm of Bismarck. But propelling through the sky without the delightful interruption of a layover certainly has its drawbacks. Few are those who do not wish to bask in the glamour of airport lounge tours, those lively hubs teeming with equal parts chaos and yawn-inducing boredom.

The baggage allowance is not merely a limit set by the airline but is indeed profound philosophical concept. Southwest, in a stroke of pure genius, allows one to bring along two headaches – sorry, bags – without charging a penny extra. It's a generous freedom that weighs you down, in an ironic twist essentially advocating a minimalist lifestyle.

But don't let your journey become a chore. Airlines over the years have been artfully crafting in-flight services for your entertainment and convenience. Southwest's inflight services, dear reader, are more than mere perfunctory add-ons. They include exclusive inflight TV-series "Chasing the Sun", a pop-culture phenomenon loosely based on the life of Icarus. It's a light watch, I promise – much like their complimentary beverages!

And then there's the paradox of the economy class (with the title more glamorous than its reality) where you cozy up with strangers for a joyous session of universal 'people-watching'. Fear not, however, as you are invited to curb the boredom by browsing the SkyMall catalogue for innovation at its finest - who knew they made a giant garden gnome holding a gazing ball! But alas, with their quirky sense of humor, Southwest unfortunately doesn’t carry it. Glass half full- they instead offer "Southwest: The Magazine", an enchanting culinary and travel guide that whimsically navigates from cover to cover.

A silent prayer for those frequent flyers who feed the insatiable beast of Mileage Program. Frantically they travel, indulging in redemption immemorial. Ah, the joy of saving up miles only to later discover the object of your desire needs only a few hundred more – a cycle as relentless as Sisyphus’ boulder.

So as we fly through the absurd clouds of satire and irony, landing should reaffirm the notion that humor rides the wings of Southwest flights. Is there an actual best time to book? Why, whenever the universe declares of course, usually with an email from the beloved airline about a sale! As our voyage concludes, remember – the journey, my dear reader, is just as remarkable as the destination...especially if you're armed with a love for the ridiculous, a tolerance for the mundane, and a copy of this blog post.