Fly Southwest: MKE to Key West, Florida

In the grand old tradition of expository writing, allow me to subvert that tradition entirely as I weave a passionately ironic narrative about a traveler's delightful journey from Milwaukee's illustrious "undefined" district, on the luxurious wings of Southwest Airlines, and into the tropical paradise that is Key West. Expect flights, airfare, connecting flights, premium economy, and a rather surprising twist on In-flight services.

Now imagine this, dear reader: A tidy residence in the frozen tundra of Milwaukee’s undefined district — a neighborhood so dreadfully nondescript, even the cartographers threw their hands up in defeat. Yielding to wanderlust, you look to the South. Far, far South—to the poetic languidness of Key West, where the rum flows aplenty and shoes are considered an act of rebellion.

Southwest Airlines, reminiscent of the mythic Pegasus, promises to whisk you from the biting cold to the embracing warmth of the Florida Keys. The flights! Oh! They're a marvel! Direct flights? What an adorable notion! Southwest, in its infinite wisdom, and absent regard for a ticking clock, promulgates the beauty of connecting flights.

Why take one flight when you could have two, or three, or perhaps a merry half dozen? Bask in the vibrant hubbub of Atlanta, or partake in the olfactory exploration that is Houston's Hobby Airport. Office water cooler anecdotes will be transformed from the drearily monotonous grumbles about traffic, into the slightly more intriguing tales of long layovers, and an unusual smell detected just outside gate C47.

And the airfare! Here's where Southwest's flair for comedy shines, dearest reader. Throwing conventional wisdom to the swine, Southwest proudly belittles the tired trope of "cheap flights". Instead, they opt for the more novel declaration of value: The essence of experience, the intangible wealth of the journey versus the actual physical wealth of your wallet. Who needs savings, when inevitably you will have memories? Tax-free, AND they fit in carry-ons!

Speaking of carry-ons, let me regale you with Southwest's interpretation of premium economy. Forget about added legroom or extra meal options, that's the riff-raff of the amateur airlines. Instead, the airline reveals its hand, focusing on the ever-so-tangible mystery of the amorphous baggage allowance. Your precious luggage may disappear into a fascinating alternate dimension, to reappear at a random carousel. The reward lies not in receiving your bags, but in the thrill of the chase, who needs Rivendell when you have Rallying Around Concourse B!

Last but certainly not least, a highlight that defies all expectations: In-flight services. As an airline mired in operational humility, Southwest eschews the caviar dreams and champagne wishes of business and first-class tropes. Prepare for a feast of humor served by the unanticipated standup routines of your ever jovial flight attendants. Every announcement brims with knee-slapping sarcasm, every safety instruction, a chance for satirical soliloquies. Southwest's entertainment isn’t on the screens dear reader; it’s in the aisles!

As absurd as it may seem, beneath this satirical scrutiny lies a kernel of truth—flights are messy, airfares fluctuating, and defined only by their undefined certainty, much like Milwaukee's elusive district. Yet, through the embarking rhapsody of connecting flights, the languid waltz in the premium economy class, and enthralling riveting in-flight performances, one may indeed discover the joy of the journey. From Milwaukee to Key West, hidden beneath the caricaturesque exterior of the travel experience, lies a narrative that extends beyond the mere act of getting from A to B.