Fly Southwest: MKE to McAllen, Texas

As an entertaining and proficient travel aficionado, it tickles my fancy when I encounter some truly amazing flight deals. And I am not simply talking about the cheap flights where your knees are jammed up against the seat in front and the person next to you thinks you WANT to hear their entire life story at a decibel level usually reserved for shouting over Niagara Falls. No, my fellow travel enthusiasts, what I am shedding light on today is the somewhat hidden gem of domestic flights: a Southwest adventure from the beer-bubbling city of Milwaukee to the citrus-scented city of McAllen.

First off, let's get the obvious out of the way: Milwaukee is more known for its frosty brews than it is for its airfare. The city does, however, offer some surprisingly delightful non-stop flights to places normally requiring a whopping four layovers and enough time in airports to consider writing a thesis on "The Evolution of Airport Carpeting." One such destination is none other than McAllen, a Texas city as sweet as the oranges blossoming in its many orchards. Perfect for the time-conscious traveler, this direct flight enables you to whisk yourself away from the frigid Wisconsin winds to bask in the balmy Texas sunshine, all in a single, non-stop flight!

Of course, one might wonder about the economy class experience on this one-way flight to Texas. Well, as a frequent flyer, let me assure you that Southwest’s economy class is no cattle-car situation. No, siree! It is indeed a pleasure-filled experience and quite unlimited in its awesomeness. As part of your in-flight services, you'll find yourself sipping complimentary juices (including sodas for those who don't fancy the citrusy delights), munching on an assortment of snacks, and indulging in ample legroom (which is nearly as mythical as a unicorn in the airline industry).

Now, before you grab your last-minute flights out of exuberance, and compromise your baggage allowance stuffing unnecessary trinkets into your suitcase, knowing about Southwest's baggage policy is a must! The airline lets you bring two checked bags free of charge (as long as they don't exceed 50 lbs, of course). Even your golf clubs fly free (although, why you’d want to lug them around is beyond me, unless your idea of fun is trying to combat the searing Texas sun while chasing after a small, ill-behaved ball).

Southwest’s flight cancellation policy is another feather in its cap. Unlike some airlines which take great pleasure in stripping you of your hard-earned cash for cancellation, Southwest adopts a clement attitude. If plans go awry - say, your boss scheduled a last-minute meeting, or you remember that you promised to feed your neighbor's cat, you can cancel your flight without incurring any charges (other than the small dent to your pride).

As final titbits of this round-trip through the world of Southwest, remember this: the best time to book flights is typically six weeks in advance, during midweek, and at an unholy hour wherein most people are bidding goodnight to the moon. Also, don't forget to sign up for Southwest's mileage program; after all, there's nothing that can beat getting a reward for just sitting in a comfy chair while munching on peanuts above the clouds.

And so, my fellow gallivanters, I draw this enlightening adventure to a close, leaving you with visions of direct flights and a mug filled to the brim with Milwaukee's frothy best. So fasten your seatbelt, pour a drink, and embark on your journey, for the citrus-sunlit streets of McAllen await you!