Fly Southwest: MSP to Springfield, Missouri

Sit back, dear reader, angled passenger seat at a comfortable 62 degrees, and prepare for an enlightening journey. If they told you taking a zeppelin from Minneapolis to Springfield was an experience beyond the ordinary, allow the subtle satirical tones of this text to actually make your day extraordinary the day you decide to fly Southwest. The artful mix of inflight Wi-Fi, recycled air, and in your case, the occasional spilt soda, will serve as an ancillary propulsion to reach old Abe's town.

Let's embark on this jaunt of rounded-trip airfare, wordplay, and irony. Where wilt thou start? Ah, perhaps the ambiguity of Minneapolis’s “undefined.” A point of departure as enigmatic as a black hole, sucking in flying contraptions with the force of a thousand frequent flyer miles. Undefined indeed, but more eventful than a mid-air layover.

Yet one cannot dismiss the advantages of a round-trip, a poet's favorite scenario where journeys always come full circle, a concept designed by airlines to give a mathematically satisfying solution to getting somewhere and back. Have you ever considered this could be a metaphor for the mysteries of existence? Or simply another way for the airlines to grab your wallet? Ponder, as the soda cart inches closer.

Now, regard Southwest’s "non-stop" descriptor. The bunny of airlines, never running out of energy, leaping from runway to runway until it lands you safely, from the mystery of "undefined" Minneapolis all the way to Springfield. Imagine, a bunny jumping across cities and towns, it's no wonder we call it a red-eye flight.

Alas, the promise of in-flight services, an exciting phrase that means anything from a free glass of water to non-consensual participation in an amateur talent show carried out by overenthusiastic air stewards. Scarborough fair ditties over a mangled PA system, anyone?

Allow me to gently nudge your considerate thought towards the remarkable concept of 'best time to book.' At which bewitching hour, under which zodiac sign, on what lucky number date should one commit to this expedited voyage? Southwest, in its infinite wisdom, diminishes the relevance of star alignments and lucky numbers, making every hour a potential happy hour for booking a flight. Inspired and ingenious, wouldn't you say?

Economy class they call it, lined up like well-behaved corn soldiers in bulky leather seats. The hardly-there legroom providing a sort of modernist ballet of human contortion where knees bend in improbable refreshing yoga postures and yoga-prakriti for an advanced lesson in unity of body, mind, and Southwest Airlines.

And lest we miss the joyous scenes of 'baggage allowance’, where your bags are weighed, tagged and taken. You watch them helplessly disappear into the mechanized mouth of destiny like your beloved pet at the vet. Ostensibly so you can later play a game of “find your luggage" on the treadmill of despair post-landing. Such joy!

Hence, the moral here, traveler, is to read between the flight paths, embrace the airline reviews drenched in sarcasm, and celebrate the mundane elevated to the extraordinary. For the ride of Southwest flight from Minneapolis’s “undefined” to Springfield is indeed a grand theater where humor takes flight and lands with a soft, satisfied chuckle. After all, the truth is none but the observable fact that the world is round, and so is your trip.