Fly Southwest: OGG to Columbus, Ohio

Listen up, modern-day Magellans, I've got a newsflash for you! Your exploration of the vast unknown no longer equates to a dingy ship and a motley crew. Now, all you need is a comfy seat on a Southwest flight and a pinch of lionhearted spirit. Fellow wanderlusters, heed my persuasive call. Trade your maps for 'flight deals' and your telescopes for 'airfare' watching. Board a flight from undefined in Kahului to the bustling Columbus. And trust me when I say this, it will be a ride to remember.

Now, I hear that little skeptic in you asking, "But why Southwest?" Well my dear, on the long list of airlines crowding the skies like a flock of well-disciplined Geese, Southwest stands out like an audacious red-breasted Robin. Yes, adventure now comes swaddled in the crimson and blue emblazonments of Southwest. They've got 'direct flights' that, quite unlike my ex, eliminate unnecessary stops and take you directly to your heart’s destination, leaving behind a trail of cloud dust. That's right, folks, 'connecting flights' are now as outmoded as the telegraph or dial-up internet.

Now, I don’t fancy myself a theorist of the airline industry. But having seen all kinds of passengers, from the unruly toddler to the nonplussed 'First-class' passenger, I've gathered more wisdom about flights than a 'frequent flyer' gathers miles. Hear me now as I reveal the secret sauce of traveling, the magic words are ‘Southwest’ and ‘Cheap flights’.

Did you ask why? Well, step into the hallowed halls of my wit. Southwest, my friend, is like the good old rich uncle you always wished to have. The kind that slips hundred dollar bills into your parka during holidays. Yes, certain airlines, the name of which rhymes with 'con-air', might give you a nightmarish 'Layover' where you endlessly roam around the sterile and charmless airports more deathly quiet than a library during finals week. But not Southwest. They embrace the bittersweet charm of the 'red-eye flight', and with their 'non-stop', quick, efficient services, they ensure that the sleep they steal is worth every yawn and under-eye circle.

Being a seasoned traveler, I've seen both ends of the airline spectrum. From the gut-wrenching turbulence of a rattling 'Economy class' seat to the decadent luxury of 'business class'. But fear not, Southwest, much like the fairy tale prince charming, sweeps away your travel worries with its 'Premium economy'. It’s a fusion of affordable and luxurious, like serving champagne in a mason jar. Count me in, folks!

A warning to the wise- Southwest's 'flight schedule' isn't a mystical creature like the Yeti, subject to myths and uncertainty. Nay, fellow globetrotters. This, quite like a watch, is precise, punctual and will not leave you wanting. The 'flight duration' is always on point and you'll never have to endure a surprise detour to Omsk or Duluth. Indeed, quite like every good thing, there is an art and a 'best time to book' your Southwest flight. A wizard doesn’t give away all his secrets, but I'll let you in on a little tip: it's all about the hunt! So the next time you set your sights on Columbus, give Southwest a whirl. Your pocket, suitcase, and sleep-starved self will thank you.

My dear buoyant traveler, I've quested the world on flights. I'm your living, breathing, testimonial to the beauty of the 'flight deals' and the cardio workout of juggling 'baggage allowance'. And I must tell you, dear reader, of all my airborne escapades, Southwest stands tall, brave and valiant, unbeaten by the tyranny of the overpriced, under-delivered airlines. So come, leave behind stale pretzels and stiff seats. Give yourselves to the grand stage of the sky, with no less than Southwest to steer your course. Cheers to life in the clouds!