Fly Southwest: PHL to Tulsa, Oklahoma

Get ready, noble journeyer, to challenge the skies once more. Bid farewell to the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia, on a Southwest prized flying metal bird and chart a course directly to Tulsa, heedless of ye olde layovers. Now, let's look through the satirical lens of an advanced writer to bring our story to life.

Toss your preconceived notions of travel out the window, for the streets of Philadelphia are about to disappear beneath the clouds as we journey westward, to the rhythm of the humming engines of our valiant Southwest bird of the skies.

The charm of Southwest is this; they've whittishly marketed their "Economy Class" as "Direct flights." A masterstroke of advertising genius, hiding in plain sight. One-way or round-trip, it matters but little. Clearly, the fiends in the ‘C-Suite’ have never actually flown economy, for if they had, they would, surely be aware of its all too real shortcomings.

Imagine the scene, dear reader. You, one of the common masses, folded into a tiny seat, knees tucked under your chin, arms clamped to your sides so as not to assault your neighbor’s precious personal space. This is Southwest's "Economy Class Experience." A witticism indeed. If they dared to christen this class of ticket as "Direct flights", we might start half expecting our seats to convert into fully reclining beds at the mere push of the button.

But, alas! All my lamentations are wasted on the wind, for you, Sir/Madam, have gone the path of cheap flights. Then again, wholly against the grain as it is to summon the words "Cheap flights" and "Quality Experience" in the same breath, Southwest has managed to give us something to chuckle about as we marvel at the ingenuity hidden in the confines of, yes you guessed it, their Baggage allowance.

The ever-generous Southwest doesn't say to us "Please, dear passenger, limit your baggage to an attire suitable for a two-day sojourn". No, they are not so crass! Instead, they feign ignorance of our nation's obsession with excess and tempt us travellers into indulging in same, bestowing upon us the Power of Two - two free checked bags. Oh, the in-flight democracy!

Not too long ago in the land of airline reviews, Southwest was acclaimed. Yet, there also ran a thread of irony. For in the same breath, whilst they cheered Southwest's budgetary sensitivity, they lamented the lack of luxuries. First-world problems, dear reader! Are we not condemned to suffer on these economy class chariots of the sky?

But fear not. Southwest has a weapon to combat such bourgeois woes, and it lies in their Mileage Program. Naturally, this is not a simple program where you accrue miles for flitting about the globe. Oh, perish the thought! The genius of Southwest, they have crafted a crafty program, ensnaring those frequent flyers into a spiral of one-way trips, simply to garner enough points to earn a free pretzel or a half-hour of internet access. Because nothing screams luxury travel like a stale pretzel at 30,000 feet, right?

And so, our adventure ferried by Southwest from Philadelphia to Tulsa has drawn to a close. With our economy class tickets, and baggage allowance utilized to its full potential, we have traveled the skies. Ah, Southwest, you have indeed given us a delightful, albeit ironic journey. Roll on the next budget-friendly, cramped adventure to another city somewhere on this vast Earth.