Fly Southwest: PVR to Rochester, New York

For all you seasoned jet-setters and penniless backpackers out there in search of your next touch of nomadic inspiration, look no further! I have the perfect solution to your travel woes: A Southwest flight from Puerto Vallarta, the "undefined" yet tantalizingly tropical paradise, to Rochester, the "small-town city" of dazzling delights.

Now, you might say, "But I have never heard of Southwest!" To which I respond with an exaggerated gasp! Living under a rock, are we? Well, let me enlighten you, dear clueless wanderer. Southwest is the 'Peter Pan' of airlines, steadfastly refusing to grow into an uptight, profit-mongering entity with extravagant airfares, yet masterfully maintaining a veneer of respectability offering Direct flights, Round-trip services, and even Connecting flights. It's the perfect blend of quality service and 'cheap and cheerful' that even your cranky grandmother would approve.

Southwest also offers a phenomenon that astrophysicists are still grappling to understand - Flight duration on Southwest appear to be shorter than on other airlines. Time travel, anyone? Or mayhaps the flight crew is so charming that you simply lose track of time amidst their high-altitude antics?

Have I caught your attention yet? Or are you still doubting how you'll manage this domestic flight? Well, for those not versed in the latest aviation advancements, Southwest offers Economy class that is not confined to the space equivalent of a postage stamp! Airplanes are surprisingly not powered by cramming as many human bodies into a metallic tube as physically possible. Who knew?

But what of luggage? Ah yes, the Baggage allowance. Take a deep breath, dear reader, for I have joyous news to impart. The joyous ritual of stuffing two weeks' worth of clothes into a suitcase small enough for an ant's vacation? Not with Southwest, my friend! They offer two checked bags for free. What's more, they don’t make you wrestle it into a box smaller than your hopes and dreams to prove it’s ‘carry-on approved’. Hallelujah.

Now, on to the journey itself. Imagine the azure waters of Puerto Vallarta, as you bid adieu to this undefined paradise from the confines of your comfortable Southwest airplane window, before embarking on a journey to the architectural marvels and culinary delights of Rochester. At Rochester, don't be surprised by the residents' uncontainable pride for its high falls and grounded coffee grains. You thought Seattle was the only place coffee could reach religious proportions? Think again!

And to conclude in a satirical flourish, according to the Grand High Witch of Travel, the Best time to book is precisely 47 days, 13 hours, 6 minutes and abstain from sneezing during this period, else she'll turn you into a mouse! In reality, affordable airfares pop up unpredictably like a prairie dog on caffeine, so book whenever your heart (or bank account) desires.

In this odyssey from undefined to undiscovered, Southwest strives to deliver an experience so designed for your delight that it seems too frivolous to be true. So dear traveller, may your journey be graceful, your flight smooth, and your fellow passengers tolerable on this imminent adventure!