Fly Southwest: PWM to Belleville, Illinois

Oh, the joy... After months of being cooped up at home and staring at the same four walls, you've finally burnt through all your Netflix shows and alphabetically arranged the spices in your kitchen cabinet. You've decided it's time to pack your bags and jump on a flight from your beloved city of Portland to explore the luxuriant wilderness and cultural richness of Belleville. From the comfort of your own home, perched on your throne (aka your couch), you've selected the obvious choice, the cream of the crop, the bee's knees of airlines - the one and only, Southwest Airlines. You've heard great things about their ‘Round-trip’ flights and let’s not forget, their unbeatable ‘Cheap flights’! Ooh la la! It’s like it’s your birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.

And with all those airline reviews – *cough* glowing testimonials *cough* - you read online, it's obvious that Southwest will deliver you to your destination as if you were royalty...or at least like someone who remembered to put on pants for the Zoom meeting. Two words. ‘Non-stop flights’. Yes my friends, in a world where brevity is king, Southwest offers flights faster than you can pronounce ‘Belleville’ without a stumble.

It doesn’t stop there! Keep your worries in the baggage compartment – where, wait for it, ‘Baggage allowance’ is generously given, even more than your tiny apartment’s storage space. Carry on as many bags as your heart desires! Or...well, at least within their prescribed limits. Hey, it's not as if you're moving to Belleville, are you?

You may also be wondering, "Wait, what about the food and drinks on-board?" Well, who knows? It's a surprise. Will it be a mini pretzel or a stale turkey sandwich? Will the coffee be lukewarm or tepid? Will the mysterious ‘In-flight services’ truly elevate your journey? Only time (and the jingle of the refreshments cart) will tell.

Were you hoping for a long ‘Layover’ to stretch those cramped legs and explore the architectural marvels of some random airport located in who-knows-where-ville? Sorry to burst your bubble, but this train, I mean this plane... is non-stop! The time you'd typically spend mindlessly people-watching or counting the tiles on the departure gate floor will instead be spent soaring over the clouds. Think of it as an efficient, albeit slightly cramped, magic carpet ride with people you don’t know. Interesting, isn't it?

And what if the unforeseeable happens? Your pet hamster becomes ill, or perhaps your boss schedules an ‘urgent’ meeting (for the fifth time this week), and you need to cancel. Don't stress, Southwest has got your back with their ‘Flight cancellation policy', which, of course, is as clear as mud. Make sure to read the fine print, my friends, so you're not blindsided by any surprise fees or ominously named ‘change surcharges’.

Alright, you travel wizards, ready yourself for this trip from Portland to Belleville – a straightforward voyage now that you know all about Southwest's quirks...uh, I mean perks. These are exciting times, people! Who needs predictable comforts when there's Southwest? With their bevy of brightly painted planes and their warm, chestnutty aroma of customer confusion...erm...I mean, satisfaction, how could anyone possibly resist? So put on those stretchy travel pants, buckle up, and enjoy your mystery adventure on Southwest Airlines.