Fly Southwest: PWM to Fort Wayne, Indiana

Not everyone is a fan of plane travel, but as a seasoned globetrotter, I have come to understand the deepest secrets of the aviation world. This is a tale of braving the skies with Southwest in pursuit of mighty Fort Wayne, the city where even the skies bow in adoration. With the last remnants of undefined in Portland lingering behind me, I embarked on a quest that would be told in hushed whispers to every would-be traveler.

Here is a satirical tale, milking every humdrum detail in the air travel niche - from "flight duration" to "cheap flights" to "connecting flights" and, let's not forget, the beloved "baggage allowance".

Ode to the profound fares of Southwest, they willingly lay bare their secrets to the common mass through their many offerings. You have the option of enduring a "round-trip", the sheer audacity of such a trip being either extravagantly poetic or painfully exasperating. Or, you could choose the subtlety of a "one-way" ticket for a journey that might never reach its intended destination. The mystery, oh the thrill!

It’s worthy of note that Southwest, an entity of elusive virtue, does not comprehend the appeal of a "non-stop" flight. They prefer the drama of the “connecting flight” - a concept that inevitably stretches your journey, possibly sneaking in a layover for us, the traveling gentry, to enjoy the robust excitement of an airport during the wee hours of the morning.

Moving on to the beautifully confusing tiers of travel status, where "Business class" is for the elite who insist on their rights to extra legroom and early boarding. "Economy class", the favored choice of the masses, is ideally suited for those skilled contortionists among us, as it presents an opportunity to test the very limits of human flexibility. Speaking of tiers, let's not forget the enigmatic "Premium economy", a paradoxical blend where one can pay to enjoy an economy class with pretensions of grandeur. Then there is "First-class", a utopian dream most of us common folks can only chuckle about.

Perhaps the highlight of every air journey extends to the baggage struggle. Southwest, in its infinite wisdom, has boiled it down to a science with regulations on "baggage allowance". It seems we are allowed to bring trunks stuffed to the brim with our worldy possessions as long as we confine them within the set measurements. A marvel indeed!

Southwest dutifully offers a "frequent flyer" program, a clever scheme to lure merry-go-round travelers into their clutches. Amass enough points and, voila! You might be able to score a flight that costs just a little less than selling your soul.

Let’s not undermine the joy of last-minute flights, those daring escapades made for the adrenaline junkies. Southwest indeed crafts "flight deals" that sway in tune with supply and demand rather than the rationality of the common being. Logic, thou art cruelly bested!

Skeptics among us might question what could inspire me to sing such satirical praises. But let's not forget the marvellous in-flight services or the stern yet mercy-laden flight cancellation policy. Indeed, flying Southwest can feel like traversing through a Shakespearean play - delightful drama, baffling twists, and an experience that is often more memorable than the destination.

And so, dear traveler, if you ever ponder about soaring the skies, pause to consider these tales of sprawling airports and ever-changing skies. As you embark on your next air adventure from the undefinable realms of Portland to the glorious heart of Fort Wayne, may Southwest and its flamboyant offerings carve out an unforgettable narrative for you.