Fly Southwest: RSW to Bloomington, Illinois

Gather round ye weary travelers, for I find myself compelled to recount an incredible tale; a thrilling passage upon the mechanical bird that we in the common parlance refer to as Southwest Airlines. This marvelous adventure carried me over the airwaves, from the bewitching tropical utopia known as Fort Myers to a charming little corner of America that answers to the name Bloomington. Be prepared, dear friends, for an air travel chronicle unbeknownst to many a frequent flyer, a journey that should perchance transform you from simple journeyperson to the sophisticated adventurer of the skies.

Would you think it facetious to propose that a voyage such as this - one that embarks from Fort Myers and alights in Bloomington - could be narrated as a heroic journey, akin to Odysseus or the Argonauts? My dear reader, it is so. In the realm of domestic flights, where your odyssey is not measured in months but in flight duration, the letdown of an insufferable layover can indeed be likened to the perilous encounter with Scylla and Charybdis.

Now, dear comrades-in-transit, picture yourself luxuriating within the confines of a Southwest flight. The diligent cabin crew revives the in-flight services to an art form; no brag, just fact. With a polite demeanor that scathingly mocks other airlines’ lackadaisical attitudes, this well-oiled machine operates with the efficiency of a Swiss watch and the grace of a Bolshoi ballet. As for entertainment, fear not! Southwest, in its infinite wisdom akin to Solomon, offers ways to prevent you from resorting to the pedestrian pastime of watching obnoxious clouds float lazily by.

In the realm of airfare, Southwest stands triumphant over the common rabble claiming to offer cheap flights. It's a universality, a truism, an undeniable fact worthy of gravity or the rising sun, that Southwest's round-trip to Bloomington offers incontestable value. Such a proclamation, however, isn't merely rooted in the dollar signs, but in the sumptuous sophistication Southwest Airlines provides.

The airline further amplifies its standing amongst its flyer fraternity with its coveted Mileage Program. The mere mention causes somber deliberations amongst the “economy class,” as they compare the meager benefits they reap while you, the savvy Southwest traveler, chuckle at their plight from your throne of amassed air miles. Ah! What comedy, what humor, what bitter mockery the Mileage Program makes of other airlines' lackluster offerings!

Do you desire to further elevate this experience, perhaps escalate your status to one that of residing in the Elysian Fields while your fellow air travelers labor in Hades? Lo and behold the first-class experience! A ride of such regality that it could make even the stoic Marcus Aurelius weep tears of joy. The myriad marvels of first-class are narrated within hushed whispers within the vaunted realms of Southwest frequent flyers. Brace yourself, my friends, for once you ascend to this lofty altitude, there's no willingly going back!

And to those among you daring enough to opt for a red-eye flight, your gallantry rivals that of Hannibal crossing the Alps. The ungodly hours you face, even though they prove advantageous for a more liberating arrival, you brave them like knightly paladins against the all-encompassing darkness.

To all ye wanderers of charted air routes, I declare among the clamor of connecting flights, in the labyrinthine cacophony of flight deals touted on the glossy pages of travel magazines, amidst the indecisiveness resultant from the best time to book, find solace in the mighty Southwest flight from Fort Myers to Bloomington! This wondrous journey is a gentle reminder that, sometimes, fortune does favor the bold, and an airline, albeit mechanically and unromantically aloft, can embody an Odyssey within itself.