Fly Southwest: VPS to Tri-Cities, Tennessee

Oh, you're thinking of flying from the idyllic sandy beaches of Destin/Fort Walton Beach to the breathtaking, mountainous region of Tri-Cities? Well aren't you just the adventurous type! Southwest must be your knight in aluminum armor. Just going through all those 'flight deals' to make a 'round-trip'.

No need to worry, remember, Southwest is your fairy godmother. Now, let’s talk Airfare. You’d think by now after selling off a kidney, you’d be propelled in a diamond-encrusted jet directly there, but no! That’s too easy, and where’s the fun in that?

Well, moving on to 'Direct flights'. Hold on, friend! Don’t get too excited. By direct they certainly mean tricking you into running a mile, or two, or five across various airports, because the devil, my dear friend, is in the detail or rather in the fine print.

You probably envisaged a non-stop swift journey, sipping a cappuccino while watching the clouds pass by. Instead, you can now enjoy the "Connecting flights" king-size platter which includes a bonus round of 'Will your luggage get to the final destination?'

And of course, what seasoned traveler you would be if you didn't experience the hallowed tradition of the 'Layover'? It’s a glorious chance to brighten up your Instagram feed with photos of nondescript airport terminals and overpriced fast food.

Now for the cream of the crop, the 'Economy class'. This isn't just any class, it's where dreams take flight, literally! The seating isn't designed for comfort, oh no, it’s thoughtfully designed for those who’ve always wanted to be a contortionist. Extra points if you can reach your dropped phone without requiring a chiropractor afterwards.

Luckily for you, Southwest’s baggage allowance policy is rather generous, a way of saying thanks for already having shelled out an absurd amount on the ticket itself. But hey, on the bright side, you have enough room in the overhead bins to store most of your sanity.

Don't forget to indulge in their breathtaking in-flight services. A half-inch thick grey blanket and the kind-of-clean little pillow that your neck will be in negotiation with for the duration of your flight. Why+ not dive into the world of cuisine, one oblong plastic meal tray at a time?

Is being a 'frequent flyer' one of your ambitions? Well, you're in luck! Many a journey will ensure your success, but only if you survive the inevitable 'last-minute flights' so common with our dear Southwest. You could call their flight schedule ‘fluid’, as in, written in water and just as soon as you’ve set your watch to it, poof!

So there you have it, brace yourself for a truly ‘authentic’ travel experience with Southwest. Don’t forget to book bestie, or should we say, buckle yourself in for a zesty ride. Whilst the seatbelt sign is on, note that terms and conditions always apply. Remember folks, you've got to keep the sense of humor mid-flight, because without the sarcasm, where's the real fun in globetrotting?